I’m a grown ass motherfuckin man!

A couple of months ago, Lulu and I moved out of our apartment and into a house in Center City. We're in a cool neighborhood, with lots of bars and restaurants within walking distance. Several houses on our street have been completely renovated, and several others are... in their original state.

We've met a few of the neighbors and they seem like good people. Mostly families - hard working types with kids. However, there's at least one house on the block that's becoming an issue.

The people across the street don't appear to be operating on the same clock as the rest of the world. They've got kids, so I'd think they would want to keep it quiet after what - 10, 11, midnight. But no. They'll pull up to the door in their car at 3am with hip hop music blaring at levels that I simply cannot comprehend. Maybe they're losing their hearing, so they need to turn it up louder and louder. Or maybe they're just assholes that don't give a shit about anyone else.

One weekday at like 2am, they pulled up in the street with 4 or 5 people in the car and a ton of shit in the trunk. They started carrying the shit into the house, taking their sweet ass time - while playing some booming bullshit at ground shaking volume.

I gave it a few minutes, thinking they'd park the car and take their party indoors. But the music didn't stop. So, I glared down from the second story window to check out the situation. They were standing around smoking cigarettes, talking on cell phones, just generally loitering. I really don't know how anyone could carry on a phone conversation with that fucking noise blaring.

I yelled down to one guy, "Hey, can you turn that down?"
"What?"
"Can you turn it down?"
"No. It ain't my car."

Then the dude continued his phone call. I guess he wasn't authorized to use the volume knob on his friend's car stereo. Or he didn't understand the complexity of volume controls and he was embarrassed by his own lack of knowledge.

Another night, we were awoken by the sounds of yelling. It didn't sound like an argument really. It was more like drunken playful yelling.

Lady: "What's your problem?"
Dude: "I can do whatever I want!"
Lady: "What are you talking about?"
Dude: "I'm a grown ass man!"
Lady: "Shut up."
Dude: "I'm a grown ass man!"
Lady: "You're stupid."
Dude: "I'm a grown ass motherfuckin man!"
Lady: "So?"
Dude: "Shit, I'm a grown ass motherfuckin man!"

I don't know what the conversation was about. But I do know that when this dude is on a roll, he repeats himself like some sort of ghetto parrot.

Oh! I nearly forgot... One day, Lulu's mom was walking into our house when the children across the street started yelling down at her from the second floor, "Hey white lady! Hey white lady!" Lulu stepped outside to give them the stink-eye and they kept it up "Hey white lady! Hey white lady!" Then I went out there and it continued "Hey white man! Hey white man!"

I don't even know what to say about this incident. It's just so surreal. It's like we're being heckled by uncreative children.

I can only imagine the conversation with my neighbor. "Dude your music is too loud." "So?" "And your kids yell at us." "So?" "So can you and your dumb ass kids shut the fuck up?" "No."

So far, there's no happy ending to this story. Any ideas?