The Churning used to get a decent amount of traffic from friends and regular readers. That’s been dying down a bit for various reasons. Now our main source of traffic is from search engines. We’re getting hundreds of hits each day from Google, Yahoo, AOL, etc. And somehow, it appears that nearly every search string has to do with sex, porn, masturbation, or shitting. Actually, I should replace the word “somehow” with “obviously” in the previous sentence.

Here’s a list of the last 20 search strings that led to The Churning (all from this morning) along with a stupid comment from JJ about each one (Yes I just referred to myself in the third person. Bite me.):

1. HI, my fantasy is have my penis and my balls cutted off by hand woman.
   I really have no idea what this one’s all about. Poor grammar and masochistic tendencies. Dude, relax.
2. where are my taste buds
   I assume this one led to the post about my fucked up taste buds. But that reminds me… Sometime I should really tell you the story about the time my nephews shaved their tongues with a straight razor to see if they could still taste food.
3. guys that love porn
   This one’s obvious. In general, guys love porn.
4. do women like fellatio
   Again, this one makes sense. It’s a question for the ages. Do women consider giving head a chore?
5. now does porn movies only with her boyfriend
   I assume this was in reference to someone specific. Not sure.
6. nipples pinch pull extreme pics
   I have nothing of the sort here. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever discussed this topic. Sounds kind of disturbing actually.
7. cock shaving before after
   Ummmm… Yeah…
8. protruding nipples
   Interesting. I’ve discussed the exact opposite before - inverted nipples. Does Google have an antonym algorithm?
9. my girlfriend likes to suck cock
   Good to know. Thanks for sharing.
10. women like it stiff
    Really? What a surprise.
11. albino porn
    It really does exist. Check out the link(s) in the comments section of this entry.
12. building a log cabin euphemism
    I ended the list of shit euphemisms at 133. That’s a lot of poo talk.
13. how many times a day is it normal to poo
    The consensus answer is somewhere around two or three times a day.
14. VIGINA HAIR STYLES
    One of my all time favorite topics. I’ll excuse the poor spelling.
15. spanking masturbating
    This search probably led to my list of masturbation euphemisms.
16. do women like big cocks
    No. Size doesn’t matter. Good luck in your search for love, Tiny.
17. stroking the monkey
    Either this web surfer is into choking his chicken, or he’s got an illegal exotic pet.
18. dreams that your boyfriend is looking at porn
    Yes, guys like porn. Get over it.
19. do girls like to give blow jobs
    Based on the comments to the post on this topic, it doesn’t appear that any generalizations can be made. Some girls dig it, others don’t. But all girls like to have their clit licked. That’s just a known fact.
20. why do guys seem to prefer porn to real sex
    They don’t. You’re just ugly.