Smoking is weird

I was a part time smoker for years - the kind of person who craved a cigarette after downing a couple of beers. It made sense at the time. Smoking a cigarette at the bar with friends felt normal. Stepping outside with a coworker for a ten minute smoke break was the perfect escape.

These days, things are changing. Smoking is prohibited in Philly bars and restaurants. And a lot of places (work included) don't want you to smoke within a certain distance of the front entrance. These factors didn't influence me much. I could have continued smoking despite the minor inconveniences. Still, I quit. Not that I ever smoked much to begin with (never more than a pack a week). I just got bored with it. I don't know if I ever truly enjoyed the act of smoking. It was probably more about the social aspect.

I guess it's been six months or so since I officially quit. I'm not going to tell you I feel healthier, because I can barely tell a difference. Again, I wasn't much of a smoker anyway. But some things have changed.

One thing that feels completely different is my view of habitual smokers. When I leave the office for a lunch break and it's 45 degrees and raining in October, it just seems weird to see someone standing alone outside facing the weather while sucking down a Marlboro Light. It's a gloomy sight.

The same is true for people at restaurants. When I'm eating dinner with friends, I look around and see tables full of laughing, smiling faces chatting over food and drinks. Then off in the distance, just beyond the plate glass windows flanking the front doors, there are a couple of lonely smokers taking a break from dinner. Is dinner at a restaurant so exhausting or boring that one needs a smoke break?

As weird as this all seems to me, I realize I have my own issues - my own ways to escape. At work, I may not stand outside in the chilly weather all alone. Instead, I sit in my pathetic cubicle all day, often without any sunlight for 8 or 9 hours straight. Shit, I even eat lunch at my desk most days. My only chances for some brief moments of escape are the few opportunities I take to surf or check my email or chat with my wife on IM.

And when I'm out at a restaurant, I have to fight my urge to check my email or look up sports scores on my smartphone. I may be engaged in conversation, but I'm probably thinking about things I need to remember to look up online. You reference a movie in conversation? I can't wait to look it up on IMDb. And if you run to the restroom, I'll gladly keep myself entertained.

So while I recognize that my own behavior is odd and perhaps flawed, I can't help my own evolving perception that smoking is a very strange habit. So weird!