1. 

   MacBros
   December 18th, 2008 - 13:18

   Fold. LOL

   That way the fingers wont poke through.
2. 

   gj
   December 18th, 2008 - 14:08

   Hard to control a wad; can get messy. Definitely fold! The number of folds is inversely proportional to the number of plies.
3. 

   C-Dub
   December 18th, 2008 - 15:29

   fold. but the real question is…. do you wipe front to back or back to front?
   eh?
   and then there is the “over or under” debate on which direction you put the paper on the spool.
4. 

   joe the
   December 19th, 2008 - 08:03

   Gallagher once said: what’s the idea behind scented toilet paper? It’s the one part of your body that doesn’t need to smell great, and it’s not like anybody’s going down there to check out which aromatic toilet paper you use. Who are they trying to impress with scented toilet paper….my finger? If you want to impress my finger you’ll make the toilet paper thicker in the middle.

   –joe the

   oh, I’m a folder.

   joe the´s last blog post..
5. 

   Ryan
   December 19th, 2008 - 14:49

   I was watching Family Feud the other night and the clue was “100 respondents were polled and the top answers were compiled. Name something you squeeze.” There were 7 items to guess, and no one would have ever guessed that 2 respondents said toilet paper. Do people squeeze their TP?

   Oh and I wad it up. I don’t got time to fold!
6. 

   Jason
   December 19th, 2008 - 15:02

   @ MacBros:
   Yeah you definitely don’t want your finger to puncture the paper. If it did, you might have trouble pulling up your pants without touching your waistband or belt with that finger.

   @ gj:
   Good point. I wonder how many folds are standard? I’m thinking two or three layers for typical two-ply paper.

   @ C-Dub:
   Always front to back. Definitely. And always “over” for roll placement. Easy access.

   @ joe:
   Hmmm… That’s interesting. I never really thought about scneted paper. Always choose unscented. Besides, I don’t want my ass to smell like perfume or flowers. That would just be weird.

   @ Ryan:
   The squeezing reference is from the old Charmin commercials from a couple decades ago. In the commercials, Charmin was so fucking soft that customers couldn’t resist squeezing the rolls in the aisle at the grocery store. And the asshole store manager would always get pissed. “Don’t queeze the Charmin!”
7. 

   Proper Ass Wiping
   December 21st, 2008 - 18:10

   So, wadding is for amateurs. Folding is the way to go.

   followup questions:

   1. how many folds make your fingers safe from punching through and accidentally touching ground zero. my minimum is 3 folds of two ply.

   2. after done with TP, do you followup with a moist wipe? my ass demands a moist wipe after the carnage.
8. 

   Jason
   December 21st, 2008 - 23:14

   1. Three layers of two-ply sounds about right. But do you use more for the first attempt, then use fewer layers after that? I’m assuming there’s less clean up to do after the first swipe.

   2. Moist wipes are a great addition to the ass wiping arsenal. Do you keep a stock of them handy? Or are we talking about regular TP with a splash of water from the faucet?
9. 

   Jim Pony
   December 22nd, 2008 - 12:06

   I’m a wad guy. I get better results. I think the extra crinkle-idge gives me better traction, therefore scooping up more feces in fewer wipes. Plus, when I fold, I can sometimes feel my asshole, and that really creeps me out.

   I too keep the moist ass napkins by the office chair. Cool & refreshing!
10. 

    Proper Ass Wiping
    December 22nd, 2008 - 15:10

    1. number of folds depends on the deuce:

    - can’t shit all day, get home and plop out a brick? it’s only going to need a 3 fold since i know it’s mostly clean.

    - ate a huge salad for dinner the previous night and then just had 6 cups of coffee and a bagel? i’m going with 4-5 folds because i know the first few swipes are going to be rough.

    2. i’ve got one of those containers of ass wipes parked behind me on top of the toilet. when we are out, i use the water on the tp method if it’s especially rough but that usually makes a bigger mess since toilet paper dissolves immediately on contact with water.

    my main problem with wadding is that it’s uncontrolled. at any time that wad can go rogue on you and smear that shit you just wiped from your hole onto your ass cheek or your sack as you move through.

    it’s bad enough when the tip of a monster shit tags my sack on the way down. i don’t need a wad of shit encrusted paper reintroducing shit to my flesh.

    in summary:

    folding = clean. shit touches the paper and nothing else.

    wadding = i don’t care about being clean. please smear shit on my sack and/or ass cheeks. why do i wipe again?
11. 

    Holly
    June 13th, 2009 - 18:49

    Dude Wad,and I’m a chick. Why? A. you won’t get shit on your hands due to thickness of the wad. B. you wipe less because the Toilet paper is more absorbant that way and C. It takes less time. Folding just sounds weird to me, it sounds like an OCD kind of thing to do.
12. 

    cleanguy
    August 28th, 2009 - 10:51

    When it comes to crap, I’m a germ-a-phobe. I always take my time when it comes to the crapper. I don’t see how wadding is effective. It uses much more paper, is more prone to forming dingle berries (just plain nasty), and is more likely to stop up the toilet. Always wipe front to back.

    (preface) I always give it a courtesy flush after the crap but before the cleanup. Sometimes I give it an extra courtesy flush or two during the crap if it is a big crap. I don’t think people use this method enough. It prevents excess smell, prevents the toilet from getting stopped up, and prevents that crap stain in the bottom of the toilet bowl. So remember this important step

    (1a) I’ll usually take about 4-5 squares, fold that in half twice for the first wipe. That gives you the thickness you need for the initial wipe that tends to be the messiest.
    (1b)May have to repeat this step if it was an especially messy crap.
    (2) I’ll take another 4 squares, fold that in half, wipe, fold in half again (crap on the inside of the fold), and wipe again. This saves paper, while still being effective.
    (3) I’ll repeat step 2 until I don’t get any more crap.
    (4) Then, I get a baby wipe, wipe with it, fold in half, wipe with it again, fold in half, then wipe with it again (Usually those things are huge, so you can get away with that).

    This method insures there’s no itching later or skid marks in the underwear (disgusting). I don’t think scented toilet paper makes any difference. However, the baby wipes are usually scented with some sort of moisturizer, which helps in more ways than one. Afterward, you have that fresh, out of the shower feel. The only way you can do better, is if you take a shower. Cheers!
13. 

    Judy
    December 6th, 2009 - 20:36

    Toilet T-issue Toilet Paper Direction Poll:
    http://www.judyreiser.com/poll.php

    3 out of 5 prefer towards front.
    40% are folders
    40% are crumplers
    20% are rollers
14. 

    Jaden Flores
    May 12th, 2010 - 20:01

    Well, Family Feud is actually a classic game that traces back wayback in the 80’s i guess. It is a nice game anyway.`,:
15. 

    JJ
    May 13th, 2010 - 17:56

    Jaden, you are a dimwit.

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