What’s the normal technique for peeing in a urinal?

21Mar/099

What’s the normal technique for peeing in a urinal?

Dearest readers - Welcome to the latest installment in the Am I Normal series here at The Churning. Today's topic is piss. Specifically dude piss. It's disgusting, I know. That's why I'm talking about it.

Women like to joke about dudes having bad aim in the bathroom. And that's somewhat accurate. Go to nearly any public men's room and you'll see piss on the floor below the urinals. And guys clearly have an issue pointing their urine stream accurately in regular toilets too. However, I'm not 100% certain that guys can't aim - I'm thinking maybe they're just aiming for the wrong target. The way I see it, there are 4 standard options:

Direct Hit
Urinal piss stream

Guys who go for the Direct Hit are not modest. They don't care about the obvious noise aiming directly for the water creates. This is not a good style for a dude with a weak stream. Everyone can tell he's dripping out like a coffee pot. A braggart who shoots piss with the force of a firehose might choose this method just to let you know he's hung like a Pepsi can. And guys who use this technique don't seem to mind the potential splash-back. Who cares about a couple dozen drops of piss-water on your thighs? No one's going to notice anyway, right?

Center Wall
Urinal piss stream

I'm assuming this is the standard operating procedure urinal engineers had in mind when designing their product. People in Japan seem to agree. Pissing toward the back wall of the urinal appears to divert the stream pretty efficiently toward the small pool of water. Though there's still a slight danger of splash-back. And in this case, it's pure piss bouncing off the back wall of the urinal - not a piss/water mix.

Shooting Short
Urinal piss stream

This is the preferred method for dudes with a weak stream. Prostate issues? You're probably dripping down toward the front of the urinal. Otherwise, I don't know why a guy would point his stream so close to his jeans. Too risky.

Ricochet
Urinal piss stream

If a guy thinks he's clever, he might try to aim for the right or left wall of the urinal, sending the pee flow spinning around the back wall. This method could reduce the piss mist. Still, there's a danger you might miss your target and hit the corner of the urinal, sending warm yellow fluid all over the place. This is the preferred technique for creative types who are shy about the sound of their own urine hitting toilet water.

Tagged as: advice, am i normal? Leave a comment

Comments (9) Trackbacks (1) ( subscribe to comments on this post )

Robguy
March 22nd, 2009 - 09:59

The standard urinal in Australia has you pissing onto a stainless steel wall while standing on a metal grate. http://notrobsstuff.blogspot.com/2009/02/little-toilet-humour.html
Yuck
Zee
March 22nd, 2009 - 15:37

that’s cool.. disgusting but cool, lol
you are totally right
and you can say i’m one of the creative ones but not shy of the sound, you are in a men’s bathroom so you can hear any other bad sounds, but it’s somewhat remarkable !! and i never missed the side wall lol
Jim Pony
March 22nd, 2009 - 17:41

I generally go for the water because there’s less back-splash. However, if there’s a patty or one of those annoying Say No To Drugs blue things, I’ll piss on the message briefly and then divert my stream higher because those things give jeans drenching back-splash.
TFKoP
March 22nd, 2009 - 19:16

I employ all of them with each visit.

TFKoPÂ´s last blog post..
Jack Mule
March 23rd, 2009 - 18:29

oh man, pissing on the ‘say no to drugs’ piss soap thing is asking for trouble. too many sharp surfaces to divert pee right back at you. worst case is you get a little piss soap splashed back at you for your efforts.

i’m all about the back since less chance for splash back. however, if i’ve just had 6 cups of coffee and i know the stream is strong enough to bore a hole in the back, then i’m going to the water.
Jason
March 27th, 2009 - 13:28

@Robguy:
Very classy! Must be hard to miss with that design.

@Zee:
I’m not shy either. And I’m really not very creative when it comes to pissing. I shoot directly for the water.

@Jim Pony:
That’s the thing about urinal cakes – they make you want to aim for them. Anything in the urinal becomes a target. Cigarette butts, stains on the porcelain, bubble gum (all dive bar bullshit).

@TFKoP:
Very creative!

@Jack Mule:
Good call. The strength of the stream can definitely vary throughout the day.
Jack Mule
March 27th, 2009 - 16:10

Also, I forgot to mention that i’m a master at Peeball:

http://www.peeball.com/press/press_01.asp

The rules of Power Peeball are simple:

1. Unwrap the Power Peeball and place it carefully in a urinal (single and trough urinals are both acceptable playing areas, although for league and competitive matches the urinals must meet the individual rules and regulations of the relevant local governing bodies).

2. Take aim and once urination has commenced, start the clock. This is ‘The Stand’. In Power Peeball, the stand does not have to consist of a single, non-stop stream of urine – although the competitor is not allowed to move away from the urinal.

3. Aiming the stream at the Peeball, try to destroy it in the shortest possible time. Once all the residual fragments have been dispatched down the urinal drain, stop the clock (In championship games, points are awarded for style, technical merit and artistic interpretation. At all levels of competition, the use of penile siphons or any other artificial urinary aids is strictly forbidden).

4. Any leakage away from the stand results in instant disqualification. Holding it in to the point of pain is stupid. Remember, Peeball is about skill and control, not producing huge volumes of urine.

5. If a player finds a semi-dissolved ball in a urinal, it is every peeballer’s solemn duty to destroy any remnants before play recommences with a new ball. Please respect and uphold Peeball tradition at all times.
buster
April 12th, 2010 - 13:13

saw a picture of a thing called the “urinal fly” which is a fly etched into the urinal to denote the sweet spot for minimizing collateral peepage. tried aiming in the approximate area and lo and behold, noticed a huge decrease in splash damage. start dick straight then aim about an inch down and an inch left/right. YPMV (your peepage may vary)
manny
October 5th, 2011 - 16:59

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