Kids are assholes
As I was heading home from the gym this weekend, I heard a strange muffled voice - it was loud but unclear, kind of like the teacher's voice on those old Charlie Brown cartoons. I was jogging down the sidewalk in gym shorts and a t-shirt, listening to loud rock music on my mp3 player. I looked over toward the sound and saw a car full of teenage boys roll by. One of them was pointing a megaphone out the window saying something. He was clearly addressing me and the other kids in the car thought it was hilarious - laughing and pointing.
I didn't understand a word he said because of my headphones. Too bad, because I bet it was hilarious. 17-year-old high school brats are so very clever. In retrospect I'm glad I didn't hear it. I don't need that added stress in my life - being completely aware that I was mocked by pimply faced nobodies. For all I know, they were shouting words of encouragement. Starting now, that's how I will choose to remember the event.
It reminded me of something that happened a few weeks ago. A coworker and I were leaving our suburban office building at the end of a long work day, walking toward our cars. We were in the middle of some inane bullshit conversation ("Great weather we're having." "Yep."), when we were interrupted by a couple of bratty skateboarders.
The boys were doing some unimpressive ollies in our office parking lot. They were kind of nerdy - probably 13 or 14-years-old. I'm sure my khakis and long-sleeve button-up camouflaged the fact that I used to look and act like them. At work, I'm just another cog in the machine. The coworker chatting with me is a bit younger than I am and he probably looked a bit cooler that day. I think he was wearing jeans and an un-tucked shirt.
The kids interrupted our conversation by shouting "Are you gangsters?!" Kids are fucking idiots. You can quote me on that. My coworker responded: "Excuse me?"
Why would anyone consider engaging asshole kids in conversation? They should be treated the way conservatives view the homeless - ignored and forgotten. The rest of this conversation took place as we continued walking toward our cars. The kids' voices got louder as we got further away so they could make sure we heard them.
Asshole kid: "Are you a gangster?!"
Coworker: "Yeah, sure."
Asshole kid (louder): "How are you a gangster?"
Coworker: "I'm not sure what you mean."
Asshole kid (now yelling because we're so far away): "What makes you a gangster?"
Coworker (mumbling as he gets into his car): "Okay this conversation is going nowhere."
As my coworker shut his car door, the one kid addressed the other kid, yelling: "That guy looks like Bam Margera!" "Hahahaha"
I don't know what made the whole interaction so funny to them. They just laughed and laughed as we each got in our cars and drove away. It's still somewhat unclear if they were mocking us or just being silly. Whatever.
One thing that crossed my mind in both of these events is this: If I were genuinely bothered during either of these encounters, I could have done something about it. I could have insulted them. I could have engaged them in conversation and said some truly hurtful things - the kinds of things that would make them lose sleep at night. But they're just kids.
Even a 17-year-old cruising through South Philly with a megaphone in hand is just a dumb fucking kid who knows jack shit about life. Kids say stupid shit. They make mistakes and look foolish. I was like them 15 years ago. And 15 years from now they'll interact with cocky little pieces of shit. It's the cycle of life. How could I let that bother me. It's just the way things are.
Subscribe via Email
Feedback
Recent Posts
- Disgusting story with a happy ending
- The Codes on Facebook – Philadelphia Indie Rock
- One of the ways in which women are more efficient than men
- When is it okay to punch a kid in the face?
- Santa prepares you for the free market
Recent Comments
- whitubbilia on Vaginal Hairstyles
- Tina on Do Women Like Giving Blowjobs?
- Myra on Email Spam: How Far does the Rabbit Hole Go?
- Virgie on Email Spam: How Far does the Rabbit Hole Go?
- E.K. on What do Guys Think of Inverted Nipples?
Blogs
- Adventures in Blah Blah Land
- Avitable-isms
- Bacon After Dark
- Captain & Coke with a Lime
- citynoise.org : Philadelphia
- Idle-Ranting Revisited
- MacBros’ Place
- My Life as Rocky’s Dad
- Randi’s Random Rantings
- String and Timekeeping
- The Airing of Grievances
- The Finest Kind of Pork
- The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!
- The Pop Eye
Friends
- An Artist’s Journal
- Martha Brooks Marshall
- Martha Brooks Marshall – absolutearts.com
- Molumbus
- Premium Horticultural Oil
April 28th, 2009 - 10:32
You can thank MacBros for forcing me to write something. He’s so pushy!
April 28th, 2009 - 16:43
LOL! Thank me?? Err… OK then
I think the main problem here is plain jealousy.
We are trying to make ends meed and work stupid jobs to pay bills while these punks get to live free.
I would trade places in an instant. To be young and dumb again would be awesome!
Hey, that’s sounds like a movie plot.
MacBros´s last blog post..Dolphins Blowing Bubble Rings (Video)
April 28th, 2009 - 16:45
Brings to mind that age old saying. “I wish I knew then what I know now.”
My friends sister would have been so… err.. umm… yea. :-”
MacBros´s last blog post..Twitter Tips I Agree With 100%
May 2nd, 2009 - 11:44
They were probably baked.
May 7th, 2009 - 12:21
I just went on a field trip with my son and the rest of the 5th grade yesterday. It’s amazing to me how much they laugh about stupid shit. And I just kept trying to remember if I was ever like that. I’m sure I was to a certain degree, but not a very high one.
For example: The field trip was to the Smithsonian. Inside the Smithsonian there’s a movie theater. The whole group went in to watch a really cool 3D movie about water creatures. When the lights dimmed and then place went black, all the kids started doing the “OH MY GOD” “I’m so scared” kid shit. That same kid shit that I distinctly remember happening when I was a kid. I also distinctly remember thinking that the people who acted all crazy like that were stupid.
Maybe I was just wise beyond my years.
Either way, I agree with you that kids are assholes. I SO do not want my son to be one of those kids.
April´s last blog post..Some Priests Suck (literally & figuratively)
May 7th, 2009 - 12:30
I think the junior high years are the worst..
My husband and I have decided we’re sending our son away for ages 11 – 13!
May 13th, 2009 - 20:22
Shut the fuck up. U r a bigger asshole than anyone
May 13th, 2009 - 20:42
I rest my case.
JJ´s last blog post..I don’t know jack shit about baseball
May 24th, 2009 - 18:11
JJ: Oh that’s priceless.
Last night some kids ding-dong-ditched my house at around 10pm. I guess they think young guys that are used to working nights are asleep at 10pm.
that are 1/2 my height. I just let them have their fun and went along with my business.
I went to the front door and of course no one was there. I walked to the side of the house to see a group of about 5 kids. Literally KIDS. 8-10 years old. I thought about going out there and scaring them or making them look foolish. They were just too young. Their parents need to be ashamed. I can’t hurt kids “physically or emotionally”
Little shiteaters.
And in response to the posts on the other thread:
Shouldn’t you wait til your balls drop to be finding the love of your life?
June 13th, 2009 - 00:42
Dude, I feel ya. Im 25 and im starting to get this crap all the time. 17 year olds staring at me, asking me if im in the band Greenday and the like. Sometimes I just want to snap, choke-slam a kid and laugh, but I just tell myself “Theyll be in the same boat soon.”
You could break their skateboards and threaten to beat them with you belt next time, and then maybe they wont want to talk to strangers after that!
Keep your head up!
June 24th, 2009 - 15:10
ALL KIDS ARE A$$HOLES..!!!!!
December 27th, 2009 - 17:44
All I have to say is that the laws today are fucking up kids!! What happened to the day that any adult could knock your ass out when you needed it? When I grew up you had respect for your parents, grandparents and feared your principal. Why? Because all of these people could and would beat your ass if you wanted to be a fuck up. Let’s face it. Used to be you EARNED respect, today all these spoiled crotch fruits think it’s there right. The world would be a much nicer place if you could knock the fuck out of them when they need it.
February 4th, 2010 - 17:28
not all kids are bad though there are some rather good ones. they are just the more silent ones most of the time and most people for some reason think the silent ones are the bad ones stupidly.
Though ill admit most are idiots i remember back in high school we had a elementary right next to the high school. One day as i was walking home four grade 5s i think they where started jumping around me and walking saying a buch of stupid stuff. Like we can kick you butt and even some swear words. I pretty much ignored them but i thought to myself that these kids will one day do this to the wrong person and get badly hurt.
February 4th, 2010 - 21:32
Hi. I am a kid. Im a 12 year old girl. I dont think I am that bad. I try not to be mean to anyone. I would never ask a random adult if they were a gangster. That is just plain weird. Please dont judge all kids. =[