This is not a new trick (I’m guessing) but I almost got my boss to eat a styrofoam peanut. These peanuts looked JUST like a cheese puff. But they were white. So I pretended that a new product came out. They were white cheddar flavored puffs. This was also during a pot luck so I put a few on a plate and asked her if she tried the new flavored white cheddar cheese puffs. She looked intrigued, but then my co-worker started laughing and blew it. ugh. My boss called me a “butthead” about ten times in a row.

http://verizonfails.ytmnd.com

great stuff.

he plays better guitar than ian and writes better lyrics than ian. why did he turn to a slave to ian? (Dance monkey!)

Today, I called my boss at work a turkey.

Who calls people a turkey these days anyways?

No, she wasn’t even a jive turkey. Just a turkey.

I’ve worked here for about a month and a half.

I love my job. I love what I do and my boss is cool as shit. BUT WE RARLEY TALK. She doesn’t like to “micro-manage”. fuckin’ sweet.

This is a typical e-mail (not even talking!).

BOSS: “Hey, can you update this part of the web-page?”

ME: “ok”

This girl in the next office got a turkey / ham thing from some kinda store that sells honey baked hams. (I think the store is called “honey baked hams”. haha.). I had some and it was awesome. Cookie monster (what I call the girl who works next to me) bought some. Good shit!

Boss walked by and Cookie monster offered her a piece. I say, “Hey, turkey for a turkey!”

She looked at Cookie monster very wide eyed and said, “Did he call me a turkey?”

I got fired.

No I didn’t.

Here’s the next ten songs I’m listening to on my ipod.

1. Maga Dog - Bob Marley “birth of a legend 63-66″
2. Die, All Right - The Hives “vini vedi vicious”
3. Auto Modown - DEVO “hardcore devo volume 2″
4. We Got Your Money - The Big Boys “the fat elvis”cd
5. The Wolf Is Loose - Mastodon “blood mountain”
6. 20 Eyes - The Misfits - “walk among us”
7. Incubation - Joy Division - “heart and soul 2″cd
8. Too High - Stevie Wonder - “innervisions”
9. Electric Funeral - Black Sabath - “paranoid”
10. Doomed World - Battalion Of Saints - “second coming”

mine is, “you think i left you’ all, but i stay in your ass like cho-lest-re’-all”.

from The DOC featuring NWA - The Grand Finale