The Churning has a few new contributors. Let’s start with J.Mo. Check out her first post. It’s an instant classic.
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I’m going to make a major change here at The Churning.
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Danny Way = badass.

He just used the largest skateboard ramp ever built to jump over the Great Wall of China… and he actually landed it.

Can you say “brainwashed?”

Katie Holmes first met Tom Cruise when she flew out to LA to discuss a possible role in Mission Impossible 3. According to Foxnews.com, she vanished after that meeting. The next time Holmes was seen in public was 16 days later, when she was introduced as the love of Cruise’s life.
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Boo!

Just in case you haven’t seen enough of these creepy bug eyes, Jennifer Wilbanks the “Runaway Bride” has signed a movie deal. Can you imagine seeing this face projected onto a 40ft screen? And which actress would be capable of capturing the permanently startled, wide-eyed look?

I suggest either Brittany Murphy or maybe Mila Kunis. Nahhh… they both have big eyes - but they’re also way too young and way too attractive. Any other suggestions?

As my Father-in-law says, “opinions are like assholes - everyone’s got one.”
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Jennifer Wilbanks, the Runaway Bride pleaded guilty to charges related to her lies. In her mug shot, she’s got her standard surprised look. What is going through this lady’s head? Why does she always look so shocked?

(image from The Smoking Gun)
“Say whaaaaat?!?!?”

Jim Morrison is alive and well, according to photographer Gerald Pitts. Pitts says the Lizard King faked his own death in 1971, but Morrison is now resurfacing so he can promote a movie he’s been working on.

So after 34 years, what film project is Jim Morrison so excited about that he’s finally coming out of hiding?

It’s about a rodeo in rural Oregon. I shit you not..

The greatest mind of our generation has won himself another 15 minutes of fame. Ken Jennings is back on the Jeopardy stage.
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Update 05/31/05–
Some 19-year-old kid wants to go out on a date with Natalie Portman. Big fucking shock.
–end of update.

Natalie Portman’s got a new look.

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Fuck yes..

This quiz is from the print edition of the New York Post. They didn’t post it on their website, so I’m including it here. You’re welcome.
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You’ve probably seen this on the news, it’s pretty funny. Merriam Webster (the dictionary dudes) came up with a list of favorite words that are not in the dictionary.
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I’ve been job-hunting for two months now, and finally the search is over. I’m playing safe as far as what I’ll say about it. But I will give you a few details:
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You’ve probably heard of this. The Today Show ran a story on it, and BBC online has something about it. But in case you’re not familiar, let me explain.

Overly cocky, secretly self-abhorring teenage boys are randomly slapping strangers in public, making sure a friend captures the event on a cell phone video-cam. The video then makes its way to internet forums, etc. They call it “happy slapping.” It’s mainly a British phenomenon at this point, but it could certainly spread to the U.S. in time.

The problem is, these attacks are not happy. They’re far from happy. They’re cruel, and the kids responsible for them are heartless bastards who deserve a beat-down.

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