Ask him to put a finger in your ass

And now I present to you one of the greatest blog comments of all time. This one's from Nunya Binniss, a fan of albino porn who surfs porn message boards on Yahoo. This is the comment he left recently on my post titled Why do guys like porn?:

I have a FANTASTIC girlfriend, who will do whatever comes to mind in bed (she’s never said no to anything). I still beat off. I saw a survey report once that said that people (of both genders) having sex frequently actually masturbate more than those who aren’t. It’s like being addicted to coffee. Gotta have that extra cup.

I beat off to stuff that my GF isn’t into or isn’t capable of. I have my fetishes. She caters to a few of fantasies from time to time, but not all of them. It isn’t that she isn’t enough for me, but sometimes the hotness of one particular “whatever” that I’m into - lesbian fisting, or a girl taking three cocks at once, or whatever - just doesn’t line up (sometimes because of my own limitations - it’s hot to see a girl take one in the mouth, twat and ass all at once, but I don’t want ANYone else’s cock in my honey!).

I would rather whack off to porn about that kind of thing than think about that when we are making love, because that is our special time, just her and me. Like, I can love her cooking, but sometimes I want lobster bisque or sushi, and she can’t do either. Same idea. I would not dream of making her feel bad that she is not sushi chef and somehow that makes her cooking “substandard” or anything.

And it porn doesn’t involve cheating. With some cash, I could find some whore to DIRECTLY satisfy whatever thing I’m feeling hot about, but that would be fucking some other woman - a betrayal of my love’s trust - and it would be a massive STD risk. I don’t care what anyone says, but “escorts” (whores) are a fucking disease factory. Most of them already have genital warts, herpes, and several other STDs that are actually curable (if you have a lot of cash) like gonorrhea and syphilis. Fuck that (no pun intended).

I’m sexually happy with my lovely woman, and sexually a little EXTRA-happy with my masturbatory sessions on the side, about 8 lesbians doing each other in the same bed, or pigtail girls fisting each other in latex corsets, or whatever. My honey isn’t into other girls, or fetishwear, or penetration by anything bigger than my cock, and that’s just fine. Meanwhile, G-G porn (for many reasons noted above) and extreme porn are really fucking hot, so the only way I can experience that hotness - explore the not real-life-plausible aspects of my fantasy life - is in my private, lubed-up time, and that’s my business. I don’t ask her what she jills off to when she’s throwin’ down in her alone hours, either. Maybe it’s fantasies of being assfucked by 5 Brad Pitt clones, or tango dancing with Antonio Banderas, or being ravished by a giant hairy Neanderthal beast-man. I dunno. Not my business. And I’m gonna marry this woman.

Just trust, and love, and let live.

If your man spends a LOT of time beating off to porn, and isn’t giving you what you need, then, yes, that is a real problem, and one you should not blame yourself for. Any man passing up real pussy for pretend pussy is either confused (this may be curable; he might simply be having a negative reaction to too-rapid “let’s get serious now” intimacy that he’s afraid of for self-esteem, economic or other reasons) or isn’t really into you (which probably isn’t fixable, no matter what he says - some men can become fixated on a woman emotionally while not being very attracted to them sexually - “mommy complex”, etc.). But don’t confuse such issues with simply *augmenting* real sex with some virtual action on the side; if you’re getting sexed on regular basis, and his monkey-spanking has no effect on that, then just deal with it. Be glad he’s not expecting YOU to suck 2 cocks at once while taking it up the ass, wearing a rubber mask, having another girl suck your clit, and being bent into a pretzel, all to a techno soundtrack. You probably have better things to do, and trying to live up to that fantasy would probably result in serious injury if you’ve not had the kind of practice that porn pros have had.

Just be a LITTLE dirtier in bed, and you’ll almost certainly get great results; ASK him to put a finger in your ass; tell him how big and hot his cock feels inside you. Moan louder. Blow him in the kitchen for no particular reason. Walk around naked all Sunday after your morning shower. Dress a little sexier when you go out. Put your hands down his pants in public when no one’s looking. Rub your titties on him when it seems inappropriate to do so, like when Mom is visiting for the holidays. Sexy shit. Work it. Finger yourself wet then give him a “pussy Sanchez”. You’ve got the power, girls, use it.