So now I'm wondering if we've already covered everything. Are there any types of porn that don't exist online?

For example - are there any sites dedicated to images of bloody oozing sores on vaginas and assholes? Open sore porn! It would cater to people who have a fetish for STDs. (I brought this up once before).

Here's the question: What kinds of porn do not exist online?

Hermamphrodite porn exists - I've seen it.
What about elephantiasis porn?
Conjoined twin porn?

I have a FANTASTIC girlfriend, who will do whatever comes to mind in bed (she’s never said no to anything). I still beat off. I saw a survey report once that said that people (of both genders) having sex frequently actually masturbate more than those who aren’t. It’s like being addicted to coffee. Gotta have that extra cup.

I beat off to stuff that my GF isn’t into or isn’t capable of. I have my fetishes. She caters to a few of fantasies from time to time, but not all of them. It isn’t that she isn’t enough for me, but sometimes the hotness of one particular “whatever” that I’m into - lesbian fisting, or a girl taking three cocks at once, or whatever - just doesn’t line up (sometimes because of my own limitations - it’s hot to see a girl take one in the mouth, twat and ass all at once, but I don’t want ANYone else’s cock in my honey!).

I would rather whack off to porn about that kind of thing than think about that when we are making love, because that is our special time, just her and me. Like, I can love her cooking, but sometimes I want lobster bisque or sushi, and she can’t do either. Same idea. I would not dream of making her feel bad that she is not sushi chef and somehow that makes her cooking “substandard” or anything.

And it porn doesn’t involve cheating. With some cash, I could find some whore to DIRECTLY satisfy whatever thing I’m feeling hot about, but that would be fucking some other woman - a betrayal of my love’s trust - and it would be a massive STD risk. I don’t care what anyone says, but “escorts” (whores) are a fucking disease factory. Most of them already have genital warts, herpes, and several other STDs that are actually curable (if you have a lot of cash) like gonorrhea and syphilis. Fuck that (no pun intended).

I’m sexually happy with my lovely woman, and sexually a little EXTRA-happy with my masturbatory sessions on the side, about 8 lesbians doing each other in the same bed, or pigtail girls fisting each other in latex corsets, or whatever. My honey isn’t into other girls, or fetishwear, or penetration by anything bigger than my cock, and that’s just fine. Meanwhile, G-G porn (for many reasons noted above) and extreme porn are really fucking hot, so the only way I can experience that hotness - explore the not real-life-plausible aspects of my fantasy life - is in my private, lubed-up time, and that’s my business. I don’t ask her what she jills off to when she’s throwin’ down in her alone hours, either. Maybe it’s fantasies of being assfucked by 5 Brad Pitt clones, or tango dancing with Antonio Banderas, or being ravished by a giant hairy Neanderthal beast-man. I dunno. Not my business. And I’m gonna marry this woman.

Just trust, and love, and let live.

If your man spends a LOT of time beating off to porn, and isn’t giving you what you need, then, yes, that is a real problem, and one you should not blame yourself for. Any man passing up real pussy for pretend pussy is either confused (this may be curable; he might simply be having a negative reaction to too-rapid “let’s get serious now” intimacy that he’s afraid of for self-esteem, economic or other reasons) or isn’t really into you (which probably isn’t fixable, no matter what he says - some men can become fixated on a woman emotionally while not being very attracted to them sexually - “mommy complex”, etc.). But don’t confuse such issues with simply *augmenting* real sex with some virtual action on the side; if you’re getting sexed on regular basis, and his monkey-spanking has no effect on that, then just deal with it. Be glad he’s not expecting YOU to suck 2 cocks at once while taking it up the ass, wearing a rubber mask, having another girl suck your clit, and being bent into a pretzel, all to a techno soundtrack. You probably have better things to do, and trying to live up to that fantasy would probably result in serious injury if you’ve not had the kind of practice that porn pros have had.

Just be a LITTLE dirtier in bed, and you’ll almost certainly get great results; ASK him to put a finger in your ass; tell him how big and hot his cock feels inside you. Moan louder. Blow him in the kitchen for no particular reason. Walk around naked all Sunday after your morning shower. Dress a little sexier when you go out. Put your hands down his pants in public when no one’s looking. Rub your titties on him when it seems inappropriate to do so, like when Mom is visiting for the holidays. Sexy shit. Work it. Finger yourself wet then give him a “pussy Sanchez”. You’ve got the power, girls, use it.

"wd love to see pix of naked albino men, better if bearded, better still if uncut."

It strikes me as odd that this reader would contact me as a resource for gay albino porn. I'm no expert. And I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). That being said, I have stumbled across some sites that might answer his request. In fact, you can find those by sifting through the comments left on my entry titled "Albino Porn Doesn't Exist."

One additional note: If you have a fetish for albinos, it must be a real challenge to meet someone who can fulfill your fantasies. A foot fetish? Much much easier. Everyone has feet.

Why do guys like porn?
Do women like giving blowjobs?
Masturbation euphemisms
Albino porn doesn't exist (it really does!)

Obviously the highest of high-brow advice and humor... What have I done? I've created a monster!

Check out some of the recent comments. You'll pinch a loaf in your shorts.

Sent: Monday, August 14, 2006 10:26 AM
Subject: the churning has been unblocked!

Yet another way to waste time at work.  We'll see how long this lasts before it falls under the cult/occult status again.

Looks like the webfilter at her office has dropped us from the list of banned sites.  This is the same webfilter that had The Churning listed as cult/occult for the past three months.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  On the one hand, I'm glad The Churning Loyalists will be able to bask in the awesome re-design of this site while they're sitting in their miserable cubes, watching the hours tick away, picking their noses and crossing their fingers hoping the boss doesn't walk by.  But on the other hand, I was super-pumped to be classified as unacceptable.  It's fulfilling to know someone out there (or rather someone's web crawling, database driven filter software) noticed me and this shithole website.  I matter enough to be fucked by the man!

So enjoy it while it lasts.  The webfilter is daring me to cross the line again, and I'm up to the fucking challenge.  God damn fucking shit sucking cunt licking cock gobbling albino midgets!  There.  That's a start...

Do you know any albinos who would be willing to take off their clothes for cash? I guarantee there's a demand for that milky white goodness, and there's zero supply. We could stand to make a real chunk of change.

Can you imagine what an albino looks like naked? Are the nips white? The cooch? The tongue? The pubes? I must know.