Women like to joke about dudes having bad aim in the bathroom. And that's somewhat accurate. Go to nearly any public men's room and you'll see piss on the floor below the urinals. And guys clearly have an issue pointing their urine stream accurately in regular toilets too. However, I'm not 100% certain that guys can't aim - I'm thinking maybe they're just aiming for the wrong target. The way I see it, there are 4 standard options:

Direct Hit

Guys who go for the Direct Hit are not modest. They don't care about the obvious noise aiming directly for the water creates. This is not a good style for a dude with a weak stream. Everyone can tell he's dripping out like a coffee pot. A braggart who shoots piss with the force of a firehose might choose this method just to let you know he's hung like a Pepsi can. And guys who use this technique don't seem to mind the potential splash-back. Who cares about a couple dozen drops of piss-water on your thighs? No one's going to notice anyway, right?

Center Wall

I'm assuming this is the standard operating procedure urinal engineers had in mind when designing their product. People in Japan seem to agree. Pissing toward the back wall of the urinal appears to divert the stream pretty efficiently toward the small pool of water. Though there's still a slight danger of splash-back. And in this case, it's pure piss bouncing off the back wall of the urinal - not a piss/water mix.

Shooting Short

This is the preferred method for dudes with a weak stream. Prostate issues? You're probably dripping down toward the front of the urinal. Otherwise, I don't know why a guy would point his stream so close to his jeans. Too risky.

Ricochet

If a guy thinks he's clever, he might try to aim for the right or left wall of the urinal, sending the pee flow spinning around the back wall. This method could reduce the piss mist. Still, there's a danger you might miss your target and hit the corner of the urinal, sending warm yellow fluid all over the place. This is the preferred technique for creative types who are shy about the sound of their own urine hitting toilet water.

Why are there different ass wiping techniques? I imagine toilet paper manufacturers design their product to be used a certain way. Surely people adjust their technique throughout the years, culminating in what they believe the be an ideal system to get the cleanest possible asshole with the least amount of effort and waste. Still, there are two distinct styles: those who bunch the paper and those who fold it. If you use a single square, you are a disgusting mess and deserve to be put to sleep. That’s just not enough thickness to keep you from getting shit on your hand.

We could also argue the merits of reaching from behind to wipe - or between the legs - or from the side with a dramatic lean. Seems to me that’s a chick or a dude thing. Dudes can’t effectively reach their asshole from the front unless they’re hung like an acorn. So….

The question before us today is this: Wad or fold? What’s the normal toilet paper technique?

Well, someone recently arrived at The Churning after Googling "How Often does a Normal Person Masturbate?" And that made me wonder. Am I normal?

Girl or guy - What's the normal amount of masturbation? Weekly? Daily? Hourly?

Someone just Googled how often does the normal person poop and ended up at The Churning. I'm not sure how it happened. I just ran the same search and we didn't end up in the first ten pages of results.

That tells me they sifted through at least ten pages of shit (pardon the pun) to find us and we didn't even have the answer to their question. So, I think we should provide a service to these inquiring minds. Now I understand that none of us would qualify as a "normal" person, especially myself - but let's help this internet novice by offering our own advice.

I'll start things off in the comments section. The rest of you MUST participate. Here's the question: "How often do you shit?"