The Churning
27Oct/093

Thanks for the feedback

I added a feedback form to The Churning a couple weeks ago without any fanfare. Just kind of posted it, thinking someone might find it and send me some hate mail or something. So far I have received only one response - and it is complete genius. Here it is in its unedited glory:

From: Aodhor
Message: For me thisis the time of best fucking time. For that I like to get many beautifull girls allover the world, for a sweet fuck or best fuck.

Thank you, Aodhor. You have officially become a contributor to The Churning. Good luck with all the fucking.

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18Nov/086

What’s with the name change?

For years, I've been posting under the nickname JJ. Trouble is, no one really calls me that anymore.

For a while I imagined that the nickname bought me some level of anonymity. Only my friends knew my full name. But before long, I was posting pictures of myself and talking about my neighborhood and my personal life. Soon, this site attracted not only my friends, but also my coworkers, etc. (Is "etc" vague enough?)

So anyway... I've updated my display name. Hi. I'm Jason. In the immortal words of Forrest Gump: That's all I have to say about that.

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1Oct/084

Reverse Keyword Search

Whenever I come up with an idea for an invention or a new online tool, inevitably I find out my idea already exists. Someone else always beats me to it.

Last month, I thought - It's a pain in the ass to remember my username and password for every website I've ever joined. I got into the habit of storing them locally on a spreadsheet, but even that is cumbersome. It would be so much easier if they were all accessible through one website, a sort of central portal: links to my favorite online stores, banking, message boards, etc along with my various usernames and passwords. Then I did a little digging. And of course it already exists. Passpack. Check it out if you're interested.

This month I was onto something different. It's geared towards webmasters. If you run a website and you want to know where you rank for a certain search term, all you have to do is Google it. But what if you want to know where you rank for a bunch of different search strings?

In 2005 when I started this site, I'd Google The Churning periodically to see where I ranked, and each time I'd see my rank increase due to my SEO efforts. Then I began to notice people were arriving at my site with all kinds of weird search terms. I could Google those search strings one by one to see where I ranked for each. But yesterday I thought - Wouldn't it be great if there were a way to find out every search string that had me listed as the top result? I wanted to create a reverse keyword search. And as usual - it's already out there. And it's fucking awesome. SEODigger.

After you register at the site, type in your web address and select "Full search for domain name". You can run 10 searches every hour (restricting this helps reduce the number of concurrent searches, allowing the results to load faster). The results are typically outdated by about two weeks, so while it is a very useful tool, your actual ranking might be slightly different. Regardless, what I discovered was fantastic.

Out of every website on the fucking planet, Google thinks I'm the number one resource for albino porn. And that's good because it's sorta true. I have never personally posted or linked directly to albino porn, but I did write a post on the subject. And what I found is that albino porn really does exist. You just have to sift through the comments on my post to find it.

So this got me thinking... What search strings rank high for my online pals? I ran a few SEO digs and discovered:

So tell me - What search terms put you in the top 20?

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18Sep/0810

Time for a Redesign

If you're a regular reader, I'm sure you can tell things have changed around here. I've upgraded to Wordpress 2.6.2 and loaded/modified a new website template. So I figured this would be a good opportunity to stroll down memory lane. Beware - this is going to be a bunch of nerdspeak.

The Churning started as a Blogger site, with black text on a red background. Very difficult to read. After a couple of months I moved everything over to Wordpress, where there is a seemingly infinite variety of templates. I chose a simple one and tweaked just about everything: the colors, the fonts, the header graphic, etc. That led to the first screenshot here.

That version of the site launched in spring 2005. The header featured the Philly skyline, with a blood red sky. Sorta morbid I guess. I took that picture in the evening, when the buildings are lit up, then tweaked it in Photoshop and added a logo. Early on, I thought I'd write more about philosophy, music, stories of personal turmoil, etc. But instead I was having more fun posting embarrassing stories and humor links. So the dark and gloomy look began to feel out of place.

Also - my first attempt was designed to allow readers to have 800 resolution without making the site look squished. The result of course, was a terribly skinny two-column blog with a ton of empty black space in the borders.

My next effort was a complete 180. Instead of using a massive jpg header, unique colors for each page section, and jpg images for every text header, I chose to go with white on black and a small gif header logo. And I created the header in Illustrator as a vector graphic in my own handwriting, to make it look a little more fun and silly than the previous site style.

And of course I began designing to allow a minimum of 1024 resolution. Anyone using 800 could still read the main column anyway. These screenshots were taken in 1280 so you can see the borders.

That black on white layout didn't last long. It was way too boring and plain for my taste. This next design stuck around for a while. I spiced it up with a little more color and added a full header graphic. The background in this header is a macro zoom of a photo I took of the side of a Yuengling keg (hence the red stripe). I matched the red from the keg to add in the background color and h2/h3 font colors for the site.

Most of the basic layout remained the same, though I did add a few plugins to the right nav like Recent Comments and Top Commentators. Looking back, I still like the design, I just needed a change.

Which brings us to the current layout. I recently upgraded to Wordpress 2.6.2 - my first widget enabled Wordpress install (yeah, I was way behind the curve). That opened up a lot of opportunities for additional sidebar widgets like the ones I'm using now: the updated Recent Comments, an RSS feed, Archive Dropdown, and Users Online, etc. I've also enabled a few more plugins like Recent Posts, Similar Posts (on post pages, not Home), and Ad Rotator.

This new layout is based on BlackSplat by Sam. It's more subdued than the last one, and I think it's cleaner too. I kept the keg theme in the header graphic, but used a shot without the red stripe. The updated logo is now red again.

I also moved the upper nav buttons below the header, allowing the main page content to sit a little bit higher on the page. That change slightly increased the available real estate "above the fold". You'll also notice that this layout is slightly more complex than the basic two-column layout I had been using. There are two columns near the top of the page, and three columns below that area.

Behind the scenes, I have a couple other plugins running to optimize the site: All in One SEO Pack and WP Super Cache. These should help Google index the site more accurately and efficiently, while helping the site to load faster.

So now that I'm done updating the look and feel, I really need to start focusing on content again...

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1Sep/080

My Boss is Dumb

My dear readers,

Consider this a Labor Day gift.

You hate your boss. I know you do. Or at the very least you hate your boss' boss. And who do you get to vent to? Your asshole coworkers? That could get you fired (or branded as a Negative Nancy). And if you come home every night and complain about work, your spouse may eventually slit their wrists.

Save your job, your marriage, and your sanity by venting your frustrations at MyBossIsDumb.com. A friend started the site as a place to talk shit about work. He and I posted a couple of entries and decided it was time to open it up to the public. Think of My Boss is Dumb as a sort of Waiter Rant for office drones. It's a place for you to talk shit without repercussions.

Send us your story and let us know if you want to remain anonymous. And if you have a blog and you want us to link you on the blogroll, provide that info too.

Thank you for your assistance with this matter.

Best regards,
JJ

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