Milestones
Sarah asked me a bunch of questions and she wants to have them answered immediately (get it?):
How old were you when…
You had your first kiss?
14. At the time, I thought I was really old to have never kissed a girl. In retrospect, it doesn't seem so bad. But I was such a self-conscious pussy back then. I hung out with a lot of girls that year, but was too much of a wuss to make a move until I was nearly 15. I probably should have kissed other prior "girlfriends."
You lost your virginity?
I don't know if I should be answering that question. My family reads this thing. I was too young. I thought I was mature even though I knew I wasn't "in love," but I was really just a kid.
You graduated high school?
18. I think this is pretty standard.
You graduated college?
21. It was a month before my 22nd birthday. I took a lot of summer classes and tested out of a couple of pre-reqs, so I was able to graduate in 3 years.
You got your first job?
13-ish. I was a computer tutor for little kids. My mom helped me design a lesson plan to teach kids the basics (how to use a mouse, keyboard, monitor, etc.). The job was just a few weeks over the summer.
You got your first real job?
16. My dad's company hired me to pressure wash heavy equipment. I had to put on a full-body rubber apron and goggles, then hose off bulldozers and whatnot. The dirt and oil would splash back on my face and arms under the high water pressure. I walked off the job after a couple of weeks.
You lived on your own (college dorms don’t count)?
18. I never lived in the dorms. After high-school, I moved in with my buddy Joe. There are so many stories I could tell you. Maybe later when I have more time.
You met the person you married/are engaged to?
15. Yep. Momo and I have been together since high school. We broke up a couple of times during high school/college, but never for long. 15 years later we're still very much in love.
Got married?
24. That was 6 years ago. We got married in Florida (where we lived at the time), and we spent our honeymoon touring Japan and the Philippines.
Had a baby?
Not yet.
Colored your hair?
14-ish. I colored my hair constantly back then. Orange, yellow, bright red, green, blue. Dreadlocks, surfer hair, shaved bald - I even had an early Misfits Glenn Danzig devil-lock thing for a while.
Got a tattoo/piercing?
21. I've never gotten anything pierced. But I got this tattoo while on vacation in New York.
Started reading?
Shit, I don't know. Normal age I guess.
Bought your first car?
I'm not sure if this counts. My mom and dad bought me a 1981 Chevy S-10 pickup when I was 18. That's what I drove during most of my time in college. The first car I bought on my own? I was probably 21 or 22. I bought a piece of shit Dodge Neon.
Okay - that's enough of that. I'm not tagging anyone else - but feel free to share in the comments section. Or just post the answers on your site and give me the link.
Check out Cinders' responses.
Oh - and take a look at Mojotek's responses too.
‘Tis the Season for Tagging
Blame Christa for this one:
You get one wish of anything, what would you ask for?
I wish you would be my friend.
Wish for 6 more wishes.
1. I wish Google wasn't such a fucking mess. They dropped me again. Search for The Churning and you'll find us on page 9. And it's not even our main page. Googlebots = cockblocks.
2. I wish all comment spammers would contract painful genital warts and a horrible case of anal leakage.
3. I wish people would stop trying to teach public school children that evolution is "just a theory." At least Pennsylvania made the right decision. Teach that shit in church if you must. Besides, everyone knows that Earth was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
4. I wish a local brewery would suddenly offer me a shitload of money to work in their corporate office, where they'd be terribly impressed by my half-assed attempt to pretend to be busy for 8 hours a day. And each day I could bring a six pack home with me.
5. I wish Philly would legalize marijuana, furthering the city's legacy as a bastion of liberty. Plus I'd like to be able to roll a fatty at the corner bar if the mood struck me.
6. I wish my dog would stop pissing on his jacket. Yes, he wears a jacket. It's fucking cold here. And yes, his aim sucks.
What animal would you be?
Chupacabra. Enough said.
Something you want to do in your life:
Stop being such a lazy piece of shit.
One song you could listen to over and over again:
"My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party all the tiiiiime."
Or how about - "Ice ice baby. Dun dun dun dun dunununuh."
Coke or Pepsi?
No Coke. Pepsi. Cheeseburger cheeseburger cheeseburger.
Actually I only drink lager.
Something you currently desire:
A large cheese pizza.
One good deed you’ve done lately:
I saved a bunch of kids who were trapped in a burning church. Wait, no. That was Ponyboy.
A funny moment in your life:
I used to work in a drug store photo lab. Full time. After I graduated from college. That's pretty funny in a horribly depressing sort of way.
Now I'm supposed to tag some other people. If you feel like playing along, great. If not, great. Do as you wish, but know this: I played along because I'm no cockblock.
1. Ranting
2. Cinders
3. JuicyA
4. Nicky
5. MacBros
God Damn Man
When I was in college, a homeless guy lived in my backyard. His name was the God Damn Man.
Coolest Job Ever
This guy is a buddy of mine from college. After graduation, he moved to Japan and worked there as a bartender for several years. Now he's back in the states, and he's running his own sake bar at the MGM Grand in Vegas. He's a friggin' sake expert - a sake sommelier. Coolest job ever.
