So what's left? Old people. People who have good intentions and nothing to hide. Booooriiiing. Actually I'm only guessing. I wouldn't really know if young people think it's boring. I'm 33. And in a teenager's eyes, that means I've got one foot in the grave. Here's a rundown of a few points from that TIME article with my comments added (why do they have their logo in all caps anyway?).

Why Facebook Is for Old Fogies

1. Facebook is about finding people you've lost track of.
   Young people haven't lost track of anyone. They haven't lived long enough yet.
2. We're no longer bitter about high school.
   This is part of that whole being old and boring thing.
3. We never get drunk at parties and get photographed holding beer bottles in suggestive positions.
   I honestly think this is the number one fear for old people. They're shy. They don't want people to see pictures of them doing crazy things. What they don't realize is they don't do crazy things. They're old and lame.
4. We're lazy.
   Facebook is easy. You just upload a photo, fill in a few text boxes, and post a status update. Easy. MySpace is a nightmare with all the flashing animated ads and music players and obnoxious html profiles. Old people don't have the time or energy for that bullshit. That's why MySpace belongs to young people.
5. We're not cool, and we don't care.
   I don't really think old people are apathetic about not being cool. They just can't do anything about it. The only 30-somethings who are cool are rock stars, professional athletes, and movie stars (prostitutes and drug dealers are cool too but in a different way).

I'm not saying you should join Facebook. I really don't give a shit. But don't avoid it because you're old. If you're old, you probably belong there.

This has been going on for a few weeks now, so I'm really getting used to the routine. But then suddenly today I was locked out of my Facebook account.

Account Unavailable
Your account is temporarily unavailable due to site maintenance. It should be available again within a few hours. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Big fucking deal, right? Who gives a shit. I guess I do. It's weird. I'm not a social guy. I don't call people. I don't email my friends. But somehow the little one or two sentence updates I send and receive each day have begun to matter to me.

Am I losing my fucking mind? Should Facebook have any impact on my daily life? Or should I breathe a sigh of relief knowing I don't have the 5-minute burden of updating my status today?