I’m oblivious to your religion

"Merry Christmas!"

You might hear me say this from time to time this week. It's what I'm used to saying during the holiday season. "Happy holidays" is okay I guess. It just sounds insincere in its vagueness.

And if I tell you "Merry Christmas" and you happen to be Jewish or Muslim or Hindu or atheist or whatever, don't take offense. It's just that I don't give a shit about your religion. See, no reason to be offended. For that matter, I don't care if you're Christian (I'm an atheist. I wasn't even going to mention it, but I wanted to put this post into perspective. I really don't expect you to care what my religion is, or lack thereof. And I don't care if you care).

So in summary, here's my pledge to you this Christmas:

• I will not assume that your last name dictates your religion.
• I will not guess your religion based on your skin color.
• I will not belittle Kwanzaa or Festivus or the celebration of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. These holiday festivities are just as valid as yours.
• I will say "Merry Christmas" to just about anyone who smiles at me today.
• If anyone sneers at my friendly Christmas greeting, I'll mutter "ass bag licking douche fucker".

Merry Christmas!