The Churning
27Oct/0818

Albino Porn Really Does Exist

I got a weird email recently from a reader here at The Churning. It was from a gentleman in New York. The subject line was "albino men". In the interest of privacy, I won't include his email sig. Aside from that, the body of the email included this lone sentence:

"wd love to see pix of naked albino men, better if bearded, better still if uncut."

It strikes me as odd that this reader would contact me as a resource for gay albino porn. I'm no expert. And I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). That being said, I have stumbled across some sites that might answer his request. In fact, you can find those by sifting through the comments left on my entry titled "Albino Porn Doesn't Exist."

One additional note: If you have a fetish for albinos, it must be a real challenge to meet someone who can fulfill your fantasies. A foot fetish? Much much easier. Everyone has feet.

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10Jul/080

Speaking of gay

I went into the locker room at the gym the other day to change into my workout clothes. The entire locker room process takes me maybe 2 minutes. That entire two minutes, a dude stood there in front of a locker completely naked, fucking around with his gym bag and clothes.

That's too long to stand around naked in front of a bunch of dudes. Put your fucking tighty whiteys on and move along, fella.

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10Jul/082

Bananas are the gayest fruit

I think bananas are the gayest fruit. They look like curvy cocks.

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10Sep/0713

Straight, Metro, or Gay?

Okay - keep this scale in mind. It ranges from Straight to Metro to Gay, with Metro residing right in the middle.

straight metro or gay

Now tell me where you think the following drinks belong on this scale:

  • Amstel Light
  • Appletini
  • Car bomb
  • Cider
  • Cosmopolitan
  • Gin and tonic
  • Heineken
  • Manhattan
  • Margarita
  • Martini straight up
  • Mint julip
  • Mojito
  • Mudslide
  • Pabst Blue Ribbon
  • Red wine
  • Scotch rocks
  • Vodka Red Bull
  • Whiskey shot
  • Whiskey sour
  • White wine
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5Aug/077

God Damn! I Want to Create My Own 12 Step Program

I just found out that the original twelve-step program is based on religion. The steps include stupid shit like turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, have God remove all these defects of character, and improve our conscious contact with God. What a pile of horseshit - well at least it's horseshit for atheists like me.

So I wanted to create my own 12 step program for people who want to quit drinking or shooting up or whatever. But this shit ain't easy. I've only gotten to step five so far and now I have writer's block. Here's what I have so far:

Step one: We can have lots of fun
Step two: Theres so much we can do
Step three: It's just you and me
Step four: I can give you more
Step five: Don't you know the time has arrived

Okay, that was a long way to go for a stupid gag. Fuck it.

Also - Travis's roommate wants to know "What's weirder: gay blacks or gay Asians?"

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