Naked Lesbian Exhibitionists!

I swear I am not making this up. I used to live next door to lesbian exhibitionists. Seriously.

Frankie and I moved into an apartment in Orlando after I graduated college. I had a shitty job working in a drug store and Frankie had a 9 to 5 office job. We'd come home from work, get drunk, watch basketball, play darts, etc. Then one day things got a little more exciting.

Frankie had just gotten home from work. I was already working on my second beer when he came through the door. As soon as he walked in, he quickly shut the door, turned off the living room lights and started pointing frantically at the TV.

"What?"
"Shhhh..." He whispered, "Turn it off!"

I was totally confused, but I hit the button on the remote. It didn't stop there. Frankie got down on his hands and knees in the dark, right next to the front door.

I wanted to ruin whatever retarded joke he was trying to pull.

"Dude, what the fuck?"
He continued to whisper. "Shut the fuck up, man. Down! Down!"
"Fucking tell me."
"Titties, man" He said, "Titties!"

I got down on my hands and knees.

He crawled over toward the window on the side of our apartment and crouched under the sill, out of sight. He told me that as he pulled into the parking lot downstairs, our next door neighbor was leaning out of her front window, smoking a cigarette... topless!

"Which one?"
"The hot brunette!"

I immediately crawled into the kitchen and reached up to turn off that light too. Frankie popped his head up and looked through the living room window over toward our favorite neighbors' apartment.

"Whaddaya see?"
"Nothing."

I looked through the kitchen window. "Bingo!" Our neighbor had finished her cigarette and was apparently back to what she was doing before her little smoke break: ironing in the buff.

I shit you not. She was completely naked, ironing clothes in her kitchen. Frankie scurried over to catch a glimpse. More than a glimpse actually. It was a fucking spectacle. It was almost like she was putting on a show for us.

And the show got even better. Her girlfriend lived there too. A cute blond chick. And of course, she shared her partner's exhibitionistic tendencies. She came strutting out of their bedroom toward the kitchen - buck fucking naked.

The chatted and ironed and drank wine and watched TV and smoked cigarettes. After a few minutes it was obvious that they didn't care who was watching or not watching. They had nothing to hide. Frankie tried to be sneaky about it.  We got up slowly and turned the TV back on, acting like it was another normal evening. But every couple of minutes, we'd look over and see that they were still in there. Still naked. Still hot.

After that night, it was really no big deal. We even had conversations with the brunette on occasion as she leaned out the window to smoke with her funbags dangling. I wonder why they didn't feel threatened by us or why they weren't worried we might be staring at them CONSTANTLY. Maybe they thought we were gay. Fuck.