Kids are assholes

As I was heading home from the gym this weekend, I heard a strange muffled voice - it was loud but unclear, kind of like the teacher's voice on those old Charlie Brown cartoons. I was jogging down the sidewalk in gym shorts and a t-shirt, listening to loud rock music on my mp3 player. I looked over toward the sound and saw a car full of teenage boys roll by. One of them was pointing a megaphone out the window saying something. He was clearly addressing me and the other kids in the car thought it was hilarious - laughing and pointing.

I didn't understand a word he said because of my headphones. Too bad, because I bet it was hilarious. 17-year-old high school brats are so very clever. In retrospect I'm glad I didn't hear it. I don't need that added stress in my life - being completely aware that I was mocked by pimply faced nobodies. For all I know, they were shouting words of encouragement. Starting now, that's how I will choose to remember the event.

It reminded me of something that happened a few weeks ago. A coworker and I were leaving our suburban office building at the end of a long work day, walking toward our cars. We were in the middle of some inane bullshit conversation ("Great weather we're having." "Yep."), when we were interrupted by a couple of bratty skateboarders.

The boys were doing some unimpressive ollies in our office parking lot. They were kind of nerdy - probably 13 or 14-years-old. I'm sure my khakis and long-sleeve button-up camouflaged the fact that I used to look and act like them. At work, I'm just another cog in the machine. The coworker chatting with me is a bit younger than I am and he probably looked a bit cooler that day. I think he was wearing jeans and an un-tucked shirt.

The kids interrupted our conversation by shouting "Are you gangsters?!" Kids are fucking idiots. You can quote me on that. My coworker responded: "Excuse me?"

Why would anyone consider engaging asshole kids in conversation? They should be treated the way conservatives view the homeless - ignored and forgotten. The rest of this conversation took place as we continued walking toward our cars. The kids' voices got louder as we got further away so they could make sure we heard them.

Asshole kid: "Are you a gangster?!"
Coworker: "Yeah, sure."
Asshole kid (louder): "How are you a gangster?"
Coworker: "I'm not sure what you mean."
Asshole kid (now yelling because we're so far away): "What makes you a gangster?"
Coworker (mumbling as he gets into his car): "Okay this conversation is going nowhere."

As my coworker shut his car door, the one kid addressed the other kid, yelling: "That guy looks like Bam Margera!" "Hahahaha"

I don't know what made the whole interaction so funny to them. They just laughed and laughed as we each got in our cars and drove away. It's still somewhat unclear if they were mocking us or just being silly. Whatever.

One thing that crossed my mind in both of these events is this: If I were genuinely bothered during either of these encounters, I could have done something about it. I could have insulted them. I could have engaged them in conversation and said some truly hurtful things - the kinds of things that would make them lose sleep at night. But they're just kids.

Even a 17-year-old cruising through South Philly with a megaphone in hand is just a dumb fucking kid who knows jack shit about life. Kids say stupid shit. They make mistakes and look foolish. I was like them 15 years ago. And 15 years from now they'll interact with cocky little pieces of shit. It's the cycle of life. How could I let that bother me. It's just the way things are.