The Churning
14Aug/068

Enjoy it While it Lasts, Scumbags

A friend just sent this email to her co-workers and CC'ed me:

Sent: Monday, August 14, 2006 10:26 AM
Subject: the churning has been unblocked!

Yet another way to waste time at work.  We'll see how long this lasts before it falls under the cult/occult status again.

Looks like the webfilter at her office has dropped us from the list of banned sites.  This is the same webfilter that had The Churning listed as cult/occult for the past three months.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  On the one hand, I'm glad The Churning Loyalists will be able to bask in the awesome re-design of this site while they're sitting in their miserable cubes, watching the hours tick away, picking their noses and crossing their fingers hoping the boss doesn't walk by.  But on the other hand, I was super-pumped to be classified as unacceptable.  It's fulfilling to know someone out there (or rather someone's web crawling, database driven filter software) noticed me and this shithole website.  I matter enough to be fucked by the man!

So enjoy it while it lasts.  The webfilter is daring me to cross the line again, and I'm up to the fucking challenge.  God damn fucking shit sucking cunt licking cock gobbling albino midgets!  There.  That's a start...

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28Jul/06364

Why do Guys Like Porn?

Recently someone arrived at The Churning after searching for the phrase why does my boyfriend look at porn.  That's a silly question.   You can't ask the internet why your boyfriend looks at porn.  You gotta ask your boyfriend.  For all I know, he's got a fetish for watching women give blowjobs to albino horses.

Still, I want to provide a service to our dear readers.  So I'm going to once again ask for help from The Churning Loyalists.  Today, we're going to create a list: reasons guys look at porn.  I'll start things off.  Leave a comment with your suggestions.

  1. Online porn is free (if you know where to look).
  2. Guys like to sport wood.  Porn can make that happen anytime.
  3. Porn chicks do some really fucked up shit and they act like they enjoy it.
  4. You can find porn for any fetish.  It's much more difficult to find an actual real life girl who's into whatever sick shit you're into.
  5. Women are beautiful.  Naked women are even better.  Naked women fucking are the best.


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25Jul/064

An Assignment for The Churning Loyalists

We're all going to work together to help our dear friend Sar.  She's the mastermind behind Belle of the Brawl, and her site's been nominated for Best Political Blog in the Blogs of Summer contest.

  1. Go to Third World County
  2. Scroll down and look for the poll (in the first post or on the left sidebar)
  3. Vote for Belle of the Brawl

The poll looks like this:
Vote for Belle

Now go say hi to Sar if you have time:
belle of the brawl

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27Jun/0665

Hippie Lettuce and Other Marijuana Euphemisms

Let's keep this shit going, people. Add your suggestions in the comments and I'll update the list.

  1. 4:20 Time
  2. A Number
  3. Barbecued Iguana
  4. Baseball
  5. Baseball Bat
  6. Bifta
  7. Blogroll
  8. Blue Hair
  9. Blunt
  10. Bone
  11. Bowling
  12. Bud
  13. Buddha
  14. Bunk
  15. Cabbage
  16. Carla
  17. Carrot
  18. Cat Food
  19. Cheeba Cheeba
  20. Chronic
  21. Chrons
  22. Coffee Break
  23. Cone
  24. Cracker
  25. Creeper
  26. Cron
  27. da Kind
  28. Daddy
  29. Dank
  30. Darren Popovich
  31. Dirt Weed
  32. Donnie
  33. Doob
  34. Doobage
  35. Doobie
  36. Dope
  37. Fatty Boombalaty
  38. Fetid Finger
  39. Fire
  40. Fishing
  41. Freshly Baked Bread
  42. Gang Dang
  43. Ganj
  44. Ganja
  45. Garden Gnome
  46. Garlic Knots
  47. Ghandi
  48. Grass
  49. Green
  50. Greenage
  51. Greener
  52. Greenery
  53. Hairy Mexican Skunk Balls
  54. Happy Leaf
  55. Harry Larry
  56. Heinlen
  57. Herb
  58. Herbage
  59. Hippie Lettuce
  60. Hit
  61. Hogger
  62. Hog-Leg
  63. Hooba
  64. Hoobastank
  65. Hydro
  66. Indica
  67. Indo
  68. Inhibition Reducer
  69. Irish Mind Bomb
  70. Jay
  71. Jazz Cigarette
  72. Jesus
  73. Jibber
  74. JJ
  75. Joint
  76. Joseph
  77. Kaya
  78. Keeping It Real
  79. Kill
  80. Killer
  81. Kimo Sabe
  82. Kind Bud
  83. Kindly
  84. Knockout
  85. Leprechaun’s Hairy Beaver
  86. Loco Weed
  87. Long-Beach
  88. Mary
  89. Mary Jane
  90. Maui Wowee
  91. Mexican Dirt
  92. Mids
  93. Mommy
  94. Mother Nug
  95. Nodge
  96. Notes
  97. Nugs
  98. Oregano
  99. Parsley
  100. Pasta
  101. Pinner
  102. Pizza
  103. Pop Tarts
  104. Pot
  105. Puff
  106. Puff The Magic Dragon
  107. Red Hair
  108. Reefer
  109. Regs
  110. Roach
  111. Rotini
  112. Shit
  113. Shwag
  114. Skizzzunk
  115. Skunk
  116. Skunk Tail
  117. Smashed Potatoes
  118. Smeck
  119. Smokage
  120. Smoke
  121. Spliff
  122. Stank
  123. Steege
  124. Sticky Bud
  125. Sticky Icky
  126. Sticky-Icky-ICKY
  127. Strange
  128. Sweet
  129. Sweet Leaf
  130. Tea
  131. Tetrahydrocannabinol
  132. Thai Stick
  133. THC
  134. The Tree
  135. Tickets
  136. Tonto
  137. Toot
  138. Trees
  139. Wacky Tobacky
  140. Weed
  141. Wowe Maui
  142. Yellow Fever
  143. Yukon Gold
  144. Zol
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7Jun/0618

Marijuana Euphemisms Round Two: Sticky Icky ICKY etc.

Time for round two!  Add your suggestions in the comments.  Let's keep this shit going, people!

  1. 4:20 Time
  2. Barbecued Iguana
  3. Baseball
  4. Blue Hair
  5. Blunt
  6. Bowling
  7. Bud
  8. Buddha
  9. Carla
  10. Cat Food
  11. Cheeba Cheeba
  12. Chronic
  13. Creeper
  14. Dank
  15. Darren Popovich
  16. Donnie
  17. Doobage
  18. Doobie
  19. Dope
  20. Fatty Boombalaty
  21. Fetid Finger
  22. Fishing
  23. Freshly Baked Bread
  24. Ganj
  25. Garden Gnome
  26. Grass
  27. Green
  28. Greenage
  29. Greenery
  30. Hairy Mexican Skunk Balls
  31. Heinlen
  32. Herb
  33. Hit
  34. Hooba
  35. Hydro
  36. Inhibition Reducer
  37. Jesus
  38. Joseph
  39. Keeping It Real
  40. Kill
  41. Killer
  42. Knockout
  43. Leprechaun’s Hairy Beaver
  44. Mary
  45. Mary Jane
  46. Mexican Dirt
  47. Oregano
  48. Parsley
  49. Pasta
  50. Pizza
  51. Pot
  52. Puff
  53. Red Hair
  54. Reefer
  55. Rotini
  56. Shit
  57. Skunk
  58. Skunk Tail
  59. Spliff
  60. Sticky Icky
  61. Sticky-Icky-ICKY
  62. Sweet Leaf
  63. Tea
  64. Tetrahydrocannabinol
  65. Toot
  66. Wacky Tobacky
  67. Weed
  68. Wowe Maui
  69. Yellow Fever
  70. Yukon Gold
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