The Churning
18Feb/093

Facebook is for old people

TIME magazine ran an article called Why Facebook is for Old Fogies. It grabbed my attention because a lot of my 30-something peers still avoid Facebook, thinking it's strictly for people in their teens or early 20's (people who are either in school or recently graduated). Not even close. Moms and dads are on there. What college kid wants to be on a social networking site with their parents? You wouldn't want your dad to see pictures of you drinking underage with a group of degenerates he's never even heard of. And you certainly wouldn't want to post status updates about the hot sex you had last night or how drunk you got.

So what's left? Old people. People who have good intentions and nothing to hide. Booooriiiing. Actually I'm only guessing. I wouldn't really know if young people think it's boring. I'm 33. And in a teenager's eyes, that means I've got one foot in the grave. Here's a rundown of a few points from that TIME article with my comments added (why do they have their logo in all caps anyway?).

Why Facebook Is for Old Fogies

  1. Facebook is about finding people you've lost track of.
    Young people haven't lost track of anyone. They haven't lived long enough yet.
  2. We're no longer bitter about high school.
    This is part of that whole being old and boring thing.
  3. We never get drunk at parties and get photographed holding beer bottles in suggestive positions.
    I honestly think this is the number one fear for old people. They're shy. They don't want people to see pictures of them doing crazy things. What they don't realize is they don't do crazy things. They're old and lame.
  4. We're lazy.
    Facebook is easy. You just upload a photo, fill in a few text boxes, and post a status update. Easy. MySpace is a nightmare with all the flashing animated ads and music players and obnoxious html profiles. Old people don't have the time or energy for that bullshit. That's why MySpace belongs to young people.
  5. We're not cool, and we don't care.
    I don't really think old people are apathetic about not being cool. They just can't do anything about it. The only 30-somethings who are cool are rock stars, professional athletes, and movie stars (prostitutes and drug dealers are cool too but in a different way).

I'm not saying you should join Facebook. I really don't give a shit. But don't avoid it because you're old. If you're old, you probably belong there.

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27Jan/0912

Facebook hates me

Facebook has wormed it's way into my life along with Twitter. I spend maybe five minutes a day on those sites - stalking my old friends or updating people on my day to day bullshit. And from time to time, I'll post updates from my phone. (I've all but given up on MySpace.)

This has been going on for a few weeks now, so I'm really getting used to the routine. But then suddenly today I was locked out of my Facebook account.

Account Unavailable
Your account is temporarily unavailable due to site maintenance. It should be available again within a few hours. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Big fucking deal, right? Who gives a shit. I guess I do. It's weird. I'm not a social guy. I don't call people. I don't email my friends. But somehow the little one or two sentence updates I send and receive each day have begun to matter to me.

Am I losing my fucking mind? Should Facebook have any impact on my daily life? Or should I breathe a sigh of relief knowing I don't have the 5-minute burden of updating my status today?

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7Aug/087

Is MySpace Dead?

I just don't care that much about MySpace anymore and I'm not entirely sure why. I'll admit I'm obsessed with LinkedIn - and for some reason it seems like everyone is on Facebook these days. So maybe MySpace is just losing the battle for my attention. The whole MySpace interface feels so silly in comparison. A lot of the profiles are splattered with retarded colors, tons of auto-run videos and songs, and dumb animated gifs, while Facebook plainly focuses on individuals and not artistic expression.

I guess I can attribute all that to old age. I don't care enough to play around creatively, and I definitely don't have the time to leave comments on everyone's pages. The other sites just feel easier. My 32-year-old brain doesn't have the capacity and youthful energy to keep up with the MySpace pace.

And here's the other thing. I used MySpace a lot two or three years ago. During that stretch, I was in a certain social circle - before my divorce. I have lost touch with a lot of those friends (many of whom are still in my friends list). Playing around on MySpace is sort of like showing up at a party where there are a ton of people I haven't spoken to in a year. Still - I don't want to remove those friends from my list. As far as I know, we are still "friends" - at least in the sense that they are somewhat interested in what I'm up to these days (and vice versa). If I did happen to run into them at this imaginary party, they might even want to chat for a few minutes.

On that same note, the people in that group certainly know about this website. I have no idea if they are some of the 1000 plus daily visitors, but it's possible. Facebook on the other hand is somewhat new to me. I've had a profile for years, but I had left it nearly friendless and neglected. Now that I'm more active on that site, the friends list is more accurate as far as my current acquaintances, and it is devoid of those from my former life.

And then there's another strange phenomenon. Out of nowhere, people from my past have begun to find me on Facebook (not so much on MySpace). These are people from college, or high school, or even earlier. These people didn't know me as a guy who was married before. For all they know, my current wife is my first1. So when those people say, "Hey, haven't heard from you in forever! How's everything going?" - I can respond, "Things are great! Living in Philly. Just got married. Work is going well. How have you been?" It's as if these old old friends have joined my very new friends in a weird mesh of a social circle that sort of skips a period of time.

That being said, my Facebook list is terribly short in comparison to my MySpace list. Though I'm not complaining. The connections I've made there recently are awesome. It's great to see some familiar faces from so long ago.

Alternatively, my list of LinkedIn connections is huge. That list is almost entirely comprised of professional connections. They aren't necessarily the type of people I'd let into my personal life. And for that matter, I don't think my Facebook friends would give two shits about my online resume.

So it all comes down to this: Should I give up on MySpace? I can see the value in retaining Facebook and LinkedIn profiles. But at what point do I cut the MySpace ties? Or maybe I'll compromise. I could make sure my profile is updated, strip my page of any content that needs to be changed regularly, and quit feeling obligated to comment on other people's pages. I'll let you know how this all ends up working out.

  1. I realize I've buried the lead (as they say in the news business). I did in fact get married last week. I'll have more details later, but this post is about the possible death of MySpace. I didn't want to lose focus.

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7May/082

JJ circa 1991

I was 15 years old in 1991. My friends and I were into straight edge hardcore music. Bands like Minor Threat, Youth of Today, Gorilla Biscuits, etc. We decided to start a band of our own, called U.R.N. I'm not even sure the name had a meaning. Something about "urine" or maybe something like "you are in" or even just the word "urn". Honestly I'm not sure.

We did pretty well for a bunch of troublemaking underachievers. We wrote a few songs, recorded a demo, and played a handful of gigs. The place we played most often was the legendary Star Club (now gone forever) in Ybor City/Tampa. Green Day played on the same stage that summer. (Anal Cunt also played there around that time, and the Genitorturers, etc etc).

Anyway - my old pal Code Brown found a cassette of the URN demo and mailed it to me. I ripped the songs to mp3 and threw them on a MySpace page. You'll notice I'm credited on the demo as "Ulysses". That was sort of a nickname at the time. A rare few still call me that. Oh! - And you'll see "Chris W" credited as part of the URN choir. That's Chris Wollard from Hot Water Music. Yes I'm a name dropper - suck it!

The mp3's sound like balls. I need to try to get a better rip. But that's the best I could do for now.

Check it out on MySpace: URN

URN
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1May/083

Blame My Niece

A few years ago... maybe in 2004 or so... my niece Jill told me that she communicated with her friends primarily through instant messaging. She would sit at her computer for hours just typing away to other teenagers out there in internetland somewhere. I thought it seemed weird. Why wouldn't they just talk on the phone like normal people?

Then a couple months later, my pal Ev told me about his blog. He and his friends were posting personal stories and whatnot on some random website every day for complete strangers to read. Super odd. Why would anyone want to share their personal shit with the world? And who cared enough to read about it?

And around that same time in my life, I had one email account that I checked maybe once a week. If someone needed to reach me, it would be more efficient to drive to my house and knock on my door than to email me. They'd get a faster response anyway.

I really don't know what changed, but it happened very quickly. I joined Ev's blog, then another, then started my own. I set up separate email accounts for my various websites. I tested the waters with a few different instant messaging systems. Blah blah blah.

Now I'm fucking addicted. I have a cell phone that buzzes every time I receive an email to any one of my 5 email accounts. I have profiles on who knows how many social networking sites (MySpace is the only one I pay any attention to). I communicate via IM every chance I get. I far prefer it over the phone. In fact, my entire relationship with my fiancee Lulu was forged via IM. And even when I do use my phone, I almost always send a text message instead of calling.

I have a few friends that are like me in this sense. Web addicted. And there are others who still check their email maybe once a week or don't necessarily respond to emails when they read them. Somehow I've lost that ability. If I get an email, I usually respond within minutes.

I really had no idea where I was going with all of this rambling... but I just thought of a good way to wrap this all up: If you are my friend and I don't call you as often as I probably should, maybe try sending me an email or a text. Or look for me on Google chat. Or hit me up on MySpace. Or leave a comment on my blog. I'll respond.

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