I just couldn't help myself. That fat opportunist fuck got his greedy face in front of as many TV cameras as possible this week to lambaste the New York Post. He's all pissed off about a political cartoon - one that implies that the authors of the stimulus bill are idiots.

The artist used a chimpanzee to represent those Washington idiots. See - chimps are dumb. And a chimp was in the news this week, so it was topical to connect the two current events. But Rev. Sharpton thinks the cartoon implies President Obama is the chimp. (I personally think that's a pretty big leap. Obama didn't write the bill. Political cartoonists are keenly aware of that kinda shit.)

Still, Obama is the face of this stimulus bill and he's a black dude. And black people don't like it when you compare them to a monkey or chimp. I'm not even arguing that. Though I will point out that people have compared President Bush to a chimp for the past decade. (Yes I understand Bush is white so it's okay to compare him to a chimp. There are different rules for different races.)

So Sharpton saw a chance to play the race card on an issue that in my eyes was not race related. Meanwhile there is a huge race issue going on here in Philly. Black men are killing white cops. I saw another funeral procession Friday morning on the way to work.

In that case, the victim was a white guy. A 25 year old cop who had just gotten married. His wife is two months pregnant. A black dude was trying to rob a cab driver. The cabbie threatened to call the cops. The robber basically said "go ahead - I'll shoot you and I'll shoot the cop. So the young cop arrived and the robber stuck to his word. He killed the cop.

This isn't new. This has been going on for years now. Black criminals vs. white cops. I don't know how anyone could see this as anything other than a race issue. So why hasn't Al Sharpton, the self-appointed defender of race relations stepped in?

Here's what I sent to him via email:

Rev. Sharpton,

I see you are spending quite a bit of time this week bravely standing up to the artist of a newspaper comic. What a great way to use your influence. I hope you sense the sarcasm in my tone.

There is a crisis in my community. Criminals are killing Philadelphia cops. 7 officers gunned down since 2006.

So why am I seeking your help? You have positioned yourself as a leader in the African American community, and I see this as a race issue. Black men are killing white cops.

In the most recent case, the black assailant was attacking a cab driver. During the fight, the cab driver said he was going to call police, and the attacker responded, "'If you call the police, I'm going to shoot you and I'm going to shoot any officers that respond to the scene.'" That's according to Captain James Clark of the Philadelphia Police Homicide Unit.
(Source: MyFoxPhilly.com)

Please try to bring your positive influence to Philadelphia to help young black men understand that police are not for target practice. I honestly think you've spent enough time harping about the drawing of a chimpanzee in the New York fishwrap.

Thank you for your time,
Jason

Am I insane?

"Gee, don't you find it interesting that people only use 10% of their brains?"
"Yeah! That's fascinating. Imagine if we could tap into that other 90% of brain power. The possibilities are endless."
"Exactly. Maybe that's where our psychic power is held. You know - telepathy and shit."
"Right! And the power to move things with your mind. Oh! Or the cure for cancer!"

How about the power to be a complete dope? The British Medical Journal recently debunked that myth along with a couple dozen others. No, you don't have to drink eight 8 ounce glasses of water a day. No, sugar does not make your child hyper. No, you won't gain more weight if you eat dinner really late every day.

Check out the goods here and here.

Back during the 1929 financial crash it was said that some Wall Street stockbrokers and bankers jumped from their office windows and committed suicide when confronted with the news of their financial ruin. Many people felt sorry for them.

In 2008, that attitude has changed somewhat:

Not that religion really matters anyway. We all know that this uninformed subset of Texans will vote for McCain regardless of their own misconceptions of Obama. They have their reasons.

Those leaders have been replaced by candidates who lower themselves to the level of Joe Six-Pack. They act like we are all the same. We all speak with an eighth-grade comprehension level. We're all mavericks and rebels. And we all mispronounce nuclear (nukular? WTF?)

The same is true for the rest of our strongest voices. The modern-day civil leaders are the Oprahs and Dr. Phils of the world, kowtowing to shreiking housewives whose mascara runs with tears at the knowledge that they have a surprise gift under their studio audience chair. It's embarrassing really. What are we teaching our children? What is important in life?

I'll close with a quote from Einstein. This is from a lecture he gave to grammar school children in 1934. The tone and eloquence he delivered to these children is far above that of our modern politicians speaking to registered voters.

My dear children: I rejoice to see you before me today, happy youth of a sunny and fortunate land. Bear in mind that the wonderful things that you learn in your schools are the work of many generations, produced by enthusiastic effort and infinite labour in every country of the world. All this is put into your hands as your inheritance in order that you may receive it, honour it, and add to it, and one day faithfully hand it on to your children. Thus do we mortals achieve immortality in the permanent things which we create in common. If you always keep that in mind you will find meaning in life and work and acquire the right attitude towards other nations and ages.
- Albert Einstein, 1934

Side note: Joe Six-Pack and The Maverick would be a perfect name for a duo of right-wing radio show hosts.

Final side note: I realize I might sound like a hypocrite. I'm a childish blogger who talks about porn and shares camel toe pics. My defense is that I am not a civil leader. I just want to make you laugh or think from time to time. I expect more from our politicians. I want our next president to be smarter than me.

Is it just me or does it seem weird that Al Jazeera is the news agency bringing this to light?

Regardless (no not "irregardless" - that's fucking retarded), I'm a firm believer that things happen in threes. So in this case, Bernie Mac was first. Then Isaac Hayes. So who's next?

What are the rules surrounding the "things happen in threes" rule anyway? If Mac and Hayes are the first two, then what criteria must the third meet? Are we talking three famous people? Three black dudes? Three comedic actors (gotta give Hayes credit for South Park)?

Maybe it's all of the above. If I were Chris Rock, I'd take my vitamins and lay low for a few days.

I have news to share with you. The body shop called with an estimate to repair the damage caused by a recent hit and run accident. Drum roll..... $6500 and it'll be done by January 7.

Insurance will cover it, but I'll have to pay the deductible and I'm sure my rates will go up.

One final note about this ordeal - Check out the picture below. Notice how cautiously and carefully I folded in the driver's side mirror. I take this preventative measure every single day. In this case, it didn't help.

Yours in hatefulness and spite,
JJ