The Churning » O&A

Creepy Gay Kid Happy Birthday

JJ — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 12:00:28 +0000

Sam from Opie and Anthony isn't gay (supposedly), but he is in love with Bob Kelly.

I like to make werewolf MOVIES!

JJ — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 12:42:55 +0000

I can't stop laughing at this. Especially the line at the 28 second mark.

(Hat tip: O&A)

Warning: This Video Clip will Probably Make you Vomit

JJ — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 18:03:32 +0000

Every December, Opie and Anthony hold an eggnog drinking contest. And it always ends with a bunch of fat guys vomiting into trashcans. But this year, Joe Rogan had the bright idea to make an intern lean back and open his mouth while the eggnog drinking champ Pat from Moonachie vomited into his face. The stunt was appropriately dubbed "baby bird".

There's a sickeningly awesome picture and video clip after the jump. Proceed at your own risk.

JJ’s an Arbitron Household

JJ — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 02:33:26 +0000

That's right. I'm a statistic in the radio ratings game. Arbitron randomly selects people and I guess my name made the list. It's like the television Nielsen ratings for radio. They're going to send me two "books" which are like diaries. I mark down what I listen to on the radio every day for a week, then those numbers get added to the ratings.

I realize this doesn't sound very exciting, but I'm fucking psyched. I'm obsessed with radio. I've listened several hours a day for the last decade. It started in 1998 when I worked as a film processor for a professional photo studio in Orlando. I worked in a darkroom by myself 40 hours a week. The only thing that kept me sane was Real Radio 104.1.

Since then, I've been an addict. 98 Rock in Tampa, Y101 in Richmond, and now Free FM in Philly. There's something about radio that an iPod can't match. It's live. There are actual people talking into microphones. And now that satellite radio is getting huge, you can listen to uncensored adult conversations (like Opie and Anthony on XM).

So I'll be filling out my book next month. Keep an eye out as O&A get a tiny bump in Philly.

Unrelated side note: Don't forget to check out The Codes tonight in New York.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

JJ — Mon, 06 Nov 2006 14:42:02 +0000

Looks like the hype paid off for Borat. The movie has already made a profit - in one weekend - at only 837 theaters. The internet hype machine failed Snakes on a Plane, but it lifted Borat to a $26 million pay day. Is this proof that America actually has a sense of humor? Or is it possible the theaters were simply crowded with sexist anti-Semites laughing their asses off?

I guess it doesn't really matter. This thing's going national - to 2,500 theaters. And it makes sense. Just look at the sexy package that guy's dangling in the picture on the left from the Cannes Film Fest. Who wouldn't want to watch that shit in action for an hour and a half? I'm sure the red-staters are going to love him.

For more Borat, check out his interview with Opie and Anthony.

Rich Vos’ Solution to the Immigration Issue

JJ — Fri, 12 May 2006 04:41:59 +0000

During his appearance on the Opie and Anthony show on XM, Rich "Midget Hands" Vos offered this solution to the immigration issue:

First, we allow all Mexican immigrants into the U.S. but we make them join the military. Then we start a war with Mexico without an exit strategy.

Gangsta Fag

JJ — Wed, 21 Dec 2005 15:44:57 +0000

Within a couple of months, everyone's going to be talking about this guy.

Twisted G, the self described "Gangsta Fag" is releasing an album. He's a gay gangster rapper with incredibly graphic lyrics about butt sex, sucking cock, and beating the shit out of homophobes.

One song warns you to "run from the faggots," another rips Eminem a new asshole (literally!), and the only song currently available for download is about Gangsta Fag's experience fucking married dudes. Listen closely to the lyrics. It's completely demented.

(Hat tip: Joe Rogan and O&A)

Vaginal Hairstyles

JJ — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 04:01:17 +0000

You all seemed pretty interested in a recent post about whether dudes should shave their ballsacks - so I figured I'd bring up a similar subject for the ladies.

Okay girls, play along here. Which type of hairstyle do you sport downstairs? And for the guys - what hairstyle do you recommend for women?

I'll make it a little easier for you. I found a picture of a naked mannequin online and altered it to illustrate five of the most common pubic hair styles (according to O&A). Take a look:

Wood floor, shaved, Brazilian, baldÂ

Landing strip, Brazilian runway

Hitler mustache, patch, little triangle

Classic triangle, bikini wax, trimmed

Earth mama muff, hippie hair, happy trail

I’m No Kin to the Monkey – Lyrics and mp3

JJ — Mon, 31 Oct 2005 11:57:08 +0000

More than 30 years ago, Robin and Crystal Bernard (yep, the lady from Wings) sang on a record called Dr. Jerry Falwell: Feudin' Fussin' & Frettin' (Fret Not). One song on that record sticks out. It's a horribly catchy anti-evolution song. Grab some headphones and take a listen. Freaky shit.

But who's to say whether we're really here because of evolution. I mean, on the one hand we have mountains of evidence and centuries of scientific research... But on the other hand, the guy wearing a robe on Sundays said I should believe a black book written thousands of years ago.

Listen to the mp3.

And here are the lyrics:

I'm no kin to the monkey no no no,
The monkey's no kin to me yeah yeah yeah,
I don't know much about his ancestors,
But mine didn't swing from a tree.

It seems so unbelievable,
And yet they say that it's true,
They're teaching us about it in school now,
That humans were monkeys once too.

Oooo I'm no kin to the monkey no no no,
The monkey's no kin to me yeah yeah yeah,
I don't know much about his ancestors,
But mine didn't swing from a tree.

Although it's so ridiculous,
They're teaching us now that it's true,
The teachers that came from a monkey,
Would be better off in a zoo.

Oooo I'm no kin to the monkey no no no,
The monkey's no kin to me yeah yeah yeah,
I don't know much about his ancestors,
But mine didn't swing from a tree.

It seems so much more believable,
And surely, surely it's true,
That God made Man in His image,
No monkey story will do.

Oooo I'm no kin to the monkey no no no,
The monkey's no kin to me yeah yeah yeah,
I don't know much about his ancestors,
But mine didn't swing from a tree,

This monkey business has to go,
Because it just isn't true,
It's such a disgrace to the monkey,
A disgrace to the human race too.

Oooo I'm no kin to the monkey no no no,
The monkey's no kin to me yeah yeah yeah,
I don't know much about his ancestors,
But mine didn't swing from a tree,
Mine didn't swing from a tree,
Mine didn't swing from a tree.

The Rawker

JJ — Wed, 31 Aug 2005 04:01:29 +0000

This guy rawks out with his cawk out (not literally).

You MUST click the link. The Rawker is hilarious. It's a rock audition tape that some guy found at a music store.

From the original Rawker website (which has been taken down):

And within seconds after hitting "Play" on my VCR, I KNEW this stuff had to be shared with everyone on the planet. EVERYTHING about this video rules. The mullet hanging out of the back of the trucker hat, the fact that he's topless and occasionally forgets the lyrics (and must read them from an index card), the chinese zodiac calendar hanging on the wall, just below the window dressing - BUT THERE'S NO WINDOW... And the music! IT RAWKS!

Indeed it does.

(Hat tip: O&A)