Unless everything can get worse, it won’t get any better
I just finished reading Choke, a book by Chuck Palahniuk. He's the guy who wrote Fight Club. The two stories have a lot of the same themes: chaos and order, addiction, 12 step programs, group therapy, death, etc.
The big difference here is sex. Lots and lots of sex.
The main character is a sex addict who works at a colonial theme park (imagine Colonial Williamsburg). The high points - or perhaps low points - involve anal beads, role-play s&m style rape, public restroom sex, and step by step tips for joining mile high club with complete strangers. The narrator is a former med-school student, so he talks about all of these activities in graphic detail. This is a novel that clearly belongs on the high school summer reading list. It's got more valuable info than health class.
There's also the sub-plot that gives the book its name, where the main character intentionally chokes on his food to get attention (and money).
All of this apparently stems from the way the guy was raised. His mother told him all kinds of shit when he was a kid. Some of it seems crazy, and some of it seems like true words of wisdom. Here's an example:
People had been working for so many years to make the world a safe, organized place. Nobody realized how boring it would become. With the whole world property-lined and speed-limited and zoned and taxed and regulated, with everyone tested and registered and addressed and recorded. Nobody had left much room for adventure, except maybe the kind you could buy. On a roller coaster. At a movie. Still, it would always be that kind of faux excitement. You know the dinosaurs aren't going to eat the kids. The test audiences have outvoted any chance of even a major faux disaster. And because there's no possibility of real disaster, real risk, we're left with no chance for real salvation. Real elation. Real excitement. Joy. Discovery. Invention.
The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom.
Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace.
Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better.
Good shit. Reminds me of my frequent ruminations on good vs. evil. It's what keeps The Churning in motion.
Tattoo – The Churning of the Milky Ocean
Hi Gang,
My tattoo artist finished touching up the art on my back. It's an interpretation of The Churning of the Milky Ocean, a bas relief on one of the walls of Angkor Wat, Cambodia. Here's the final product:
The story behind the art goes something like this...
Without evil, good could not exist. The ancient population of Cambodia illustrated the concept as a giant tug of war. The rope in this case is a huge serpent (Vasuki) wrapped around a mountain. As each side pulls and gains momentum the mountain spins, churning the oceans of the universe. This churning creates the essence of life and immortality. Meanwhile, Vishnu orchestrates the whole thing as a sort of mediator.
The Devas (the guys on the right) are widely accepted as the good guys - and the Asuras (the guys on the left) are thought of as the bad guys. Gods vs. demons. But in this instance, neither is truly good or evil. They are in constant conflict yet they are working together. In the Churning, the two sides team up to achieve everlasting life.
Cool?
Your pal,
Jason
My Dear Children: Joe Six-Pack and The Maverick
A recent article in Philadelphia Magazine got me thinking about the lack of eloquence in modern politics. This is a country once known for charismatic civic and political leaders who taught us "The only thing to fear is fear itself." They urged us to "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country." And they had a dream that our children "will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
Those leaders have been replaced by candidates who lower themselves to the level of Joe Six-Pack. They act like we are all the same. We all speak with an eighth-grade comprehension level. We're all mavericks and rebels. And we all mispronounce nuclear (nukular? WTF?)
The same is true for the rest of our strongest voices. The modern-day civil leaders are the Oprahs and Dr. Phils of the world, kowtowing to shreiking housewives whose mascara runs with tears at the knowledge that they have a surprise gift under their studio audience chair. It's embarrassing really. What are we teaching our children? What is important in life?
I'll close with a quote from Einstein. This is from a lecture he gave to grammar school children in 1934. The tone and eloquence he delivered to these children is far above that of our modern politicians speaking to registered voters.
My dear children: I rejoice to see you before me today, happy youth of a sunny and fortunate land. Bear in mind that the wonderful things that you learn in your schools are the work of many generations, produced by enthusiastic effort and infinite labour in every country of the world. All this is put into your hands as your inheritance in order that you may receive it, honour it, and add to it, and one day faithfully hand it on to your children. Thus do we mortals achieve immortality in the permanent things which we create in common. If you always keep that in mind you will find meaning in life and work and acquire the right attitude towards other nations and ages.
- Albert Einstein, 1934
Side note: Joe Six-Pack and The Maverick would be a perfect name for a duo of right-wing radio show hosts.
Final side note: I realize I might sound like a hypocrite. I'm a childish blogger who talks about porn and shares camel toe pics. My defense is that I am not a civil leader. I just want to make you laugh or think from time to time. I expect more from our politicians. I want our next president to be smarter than me.
Doors
So, a certain family member of mine has recently come up with a realization - he no longer feels it necessary or right for a man to hold a door open for another man. He has no problem holding it for a lady, but if he sees a man coming up behind him, he makes sure to let it swing. Also, if a man is standing at the door holding it for him, he politely declines.
Now, I don't know how to feel about this. I think I at least got to him with the issue that a swinging door is even worse than a closed door. He makes sure to slam it entirely so nobody is burdened with stopping a swinging door.
He also expressed that he wished to start a movement of this behavior, but he doesn't see anyone following suit - they've actually tried to get him to accept their door-holding offer.
I think it's crazy. Am I the only one? I mean, it totally makes my day when a random stranger holds the door for me and I think it's rude when I'm right behind and they don't hold it behind them for me to at least grab it. BUT I'm a female so I can't entirely see that side of the issue. Why do I even care? I'm like obsessing over it. Help me out here.
Edit: I forgot to mention. Here are some anti-Chuck Norris arguments which really cause one to question his strength.

