All alone, I wonder why you’re helpless. A brain in a room.

It's been oh so long, baby.  Mmmmhmm, yeah.  Awww yeah.  Let's start this up, huh?  Maybe a few light keystrokes.  Hell yeah.  That's nice.  Now, let's punch them a little firmer, huh?  Yeah, right there.  That's fucking sexy.  Uh-oh.  I'm gonna...I'm gonna..

Let's get this started.

Here's the thing....Often, I think about a significant return to blogging.  I think of creating a new site, pimping it out, gaining a small readership and showing them cartoons and hi-fucking-larious posts(No shame.).  Often, I think of inviting some of the quality funny guys I know to blog with me.  I think of the good times we had and wish I could have them again.

Then, I slap myself for being a woman, and then roughly feel myself up. This makes me, myself, feel degraded and violated.  But don't get all "Call a rape center!" on me.  Because I was asking for it, in fact, I deserved it. 

Why?  Because Characters from TV shows have blogs.  Retail Corporations have "news blogs".  For Fuck's Sake, JJ's goddamned DOG had a blog.  Sure, it's cute and novel for a few days, but then when you look at it...it's like they've taken away something that was a tool for people to maybe express themselves in a way that was previously non-existant. 

Now, sure.  There are definitely people that should not have access to any kind of audience, lest they shatter that precarious self-image they have deluded into seeing.  But thanks to Reality TV, lots and lots (and I mean LOTS) of those people are being smashed into tiny pieces on camera and then slow-churned into nice little bits of voyeurism for all of use to gorge ourselves on.  We can taste their failure, self-hate, misery, and complete breakdown of mind. 

But it wasn't all "The misunderstood ramblings of a girl on the world" or "Edges of Darkness layered in Dark Corners of Dark Crybaby emotions and endless hours of The Cure.", was it?

There were some badass bloggers back in the day.  Like this chick Goldie from Austrailia? And This crazy kid, G-fry who went off to college.  or Tubbs from Lousianna.  Or Maine, from you know, well Ladytown, VA.  Shit, what about Mikey? And the entirety of QW's and The Churning link lists?

And while I was thinking about how great these blogs were, I realized in that moment, that we, ourselves, killed blogging.  Not corporations, not television show producers.  We did it.

We did it by allowing ads.  We did it by subconciously (however remotely) expecting that we were all clever, intelligent and talented people who "just hadn't been discovered, yet."  We did it by allowing things like BlogExplosion to breed.  We took something that could have legimately been a resource for better understanding of our fellow humans, and tried to squeeze a few bucks out of it.

I always said, when I started the QW! with J (not JJ mind you, he was last on the cast), we would write things that make us or our friends laugh and nothing else.  We would never censor ourselves, or be fake.  And we didn't.  And while not everyone liked the QW!, we did have a pretty large readerbase.  I think in a lot of ways, we were inspirational. 

And we killed it.  Because apparently, liking guns, making dick jokes, and running a joke campaign for the presidency is considered "being a dirty terrorist".  Yes, folks.  One of our own was insulted, threatened and otherwise abused for having an internet blog and just sharing thoughts, fiction, for entertainment purposes.  And we gave up.  We all quit and headed for the hills.  Out of fear for our friend, and maybe REALLY because we were afraid for ourselves.

 I looked at blogging in that moment, and I saw a dream, a chance and a hope shredded, splayed wide open, viscera and sinew stretched.  Blogging was dead.  As it lay there, clawed at, and fed upon by carrion vultures of our society, I could have wept.  Had I any part of me that was not cynical or bitter or just malcontent, I would have wept.

Sure, maybe I was an idealist, maybe I was an idiot for buying into an idea and believe that people at their core were not just rotten and self-centered. 

Maybe next time, we'll get it right.