So now I'm wondering if we've already covered everything. Are there any types of porn that don't exist online?

For example - are there any sites dedicated to images of bloody oozing sores on vaginas and assholes? Open sore porn! It would cater to people who have a fetish for STDs. (I brought this up once before).

Here's the question: What kinds of porn do not exist online?

Hermamphrodite porn exists - I've seen it.
What about elephantiasis porn?
Conjoined twin porn?

No biggie, right? So I replied with this:

If you're at all interested, I have found the single most disturbing video of all time. No one dies in it, but it's damn close. It's gay, horrific, and will haunt you in your sleep. Much worse than two girls one cup.

I recommend not watching it, unless you're into that shit.

(NSFW!!!) 1 Guy 1 Cup

If you haven't already clicked the link, don't do it. It's beyond pornographic. It's brutal. It's disgusting.

Anyway - I just thought I'd share in case you have no willpower. Someone out there is going to watch it despite my warnings.

I have a FANTASTIC girlfriend, who will do whatever comes to mind in bed (she’s never said no to anything). I still beat off. I saw a survey report once that said that people (of both genders) having sex frequently actually masturbate more than those who aren’t. It’s like being addicted to coffee. Gotta have that extra cup.

I beat off to stuff that my GF isn’t into or isn’t capable of. I have my fetishes. She caters to a few of fantasies from time to time, but not all of them. It isn’t that she isn’t enough for me, but sometimes the hotness of one particular “whatever” that I’m into - lesbian fisting, or a girl taking three cocks at once, or whatever - just doesn’t line up (sometimes because of my own limitations - it’s hot to see a girl take one in the mouth, twat and ass all at once, but I don’t want ANYone else’s cock in my honey!).

I would rather whack off to porn about that kind of thing than think about that when we are making love, because that is our special time, just her and me. Like, I can love her cooking, but sometimes I want lobster bisque or sushi, and she can’t do either. Same idea. I would not dream of making her feel bad that she is not sushi chef and somehow that makes her cooking “substandard” or anything.

And it porn doesn’t involve cheating. With some cash, I could find some whore to DIRECTLY satisfy whatever thing I’m feeling hot about, but that would be fucking some other woman - a betrayal of my love’s trust - and it would be a massive STD risk. I don’t care what anyone says, but “escorts” (whores) are a fucking disease factory. Most of them already have genital warts, herpes, and several other STDs that are actually curable (if you have a lot of cash) like gonorrhea and syphilis. Fuck that (no pun intended).

I’m sexually happy with my lovely woman, and sexually a little EXTRA-happy with my masturbatory sessions on the side, about 8 lesbians doing each other in the same bed, or pigtail girls fisting each other in latex corsets, or whatever. My honey isn’t into other girls, or fetishwear, or penetration by anything bigger than my cock, and that’s just fine. Meanwhile, G-G porn (for many reasons noted above) and extreme porn are really fucking hot, so the only way I can experience that hotness - explore the not real-life-plausible aspects of my fantasy life - is in my private, lubed-up time, and that’s my business. I don’t ask her what she jills off to when she’s throwin’ down in her alone hours, either. Maybe it’s fantasies of being assfucked by 5 Brad Pitt clones, or tango dancing with Antonio Banderas, or being ravished by a giant hairy Neanderthal beast-man. I dunno. Not my business. And I’m gonna marry this woman.

Just trust, and love, and let live.

If your man spends a LOT of time beating off to porn, and isn’t giving you what you need, then, yes, that is a real problem, and one you should not blame yourself for. Any man passing up real pussy for pretend pussy is either confused (this may be curable; he might simply be having a negative reaction to too-rapid “let’s get serious now” intimacy that he’s afraid of for self-esteem, economic or other reasons) or isn’t really into you (which probably isn’t fixable, no matter what he says - some men can become fixated on a woman emotionally while not being very attracted to them sexually - “mommy complex”, etc.). But don’t confuse such issues with simply *augmenting* real sex with some virtual action on the side; if you’re getting sexed on regular basis, and his monkey-spanking has no effect on that, then just deal with it. Be glad he’s not expecting YOU to suck 2 cocks at once while taking it up the ass, wearing a rubber mask, having another girl suck your clit, and being bent into a pretzel, all to a techno soundtrack. You probably have better things to do, and trying to live up to that fantasy would probably result in serious injury if you’ve not had the kind of practice that porn pros have had.

Just be a LITTLE dirtier in bed, and you’ll almost certainly get great results; ASK him to put a finger in your ass; tell him how big and hot his cock feels inside you. Moan louder. Blow him in the kitchen for no particular reason. Walk around naked all Sunday after your morning shower. Dress a little sexier when you go out. Put your hands down his pants in public when no one’s looking. Rub your titties on him when it seems inappropriate to do so, like when Mom is visiting for the holidays. Sexy shit. Work it. Finger yourself wet then give him a “pussy Sanchez”. You’ve got the power, girls, use it.

Check out the discussion happening on the post titled Why do guys like porn? Some women seem to be baffled by the entire concept. And nearly all of the men are saying "Guys are going to watch porn. Deal with it."

"wd love to see pix of naked albino men, better if bearded, better still if uncut."

It strikes me as odd that this reader would contact me as a resource for gay albino porn. I'm no expert. And I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). That being said, I have stumbled across some sites that might answer his request. In fact, you can find those by sifting through the comments left on my entry titled "Albino Porn Doesn't Exist."

One additional note: If you have a fetish for albinos, it must be a real challenge to meet someone who can fulfill your fantasies. A foot fetish? Much much easier. Everyone has feet.

Related post:
Why do guys like porn?

 

Guys watch porno because:

1.) We get bored.

2.) We get to see things they would not normally consider attempting with our significant other.

3.) We have dicks.

4.) Because we like looking at "nekkid womans". 

5.) And because sometimes, we just want to jerk off.  Jesus Christ.  I mean, honestly, you have no idea the needs of the goddamned gonad.  Like a zombie craving a delicious helping of brains, the fearsome Gonad hungers for a shot at your title.

Seriously, I mean what would you do if you had a raging boner and a stack full of porno starring "The woman with no gag reflex".  And the end of the day, you can't use his porno watching as a blame game for your self-esteem issues. 

That said, some women are cool as shit.   My wife for example, lets me watch all the porn I want.  She doesn't care and it doesn't bother her.  She, my best friend, gets it.  And she's not afraid of watching a good porno herself.

So my advice is to figure out how much you're willing to be comfortable with and then explain that up front to him in plain english.  And if he is willing to contend with that, then there you go.  If not, it is probably because porn is a deal breaker with him and you would have just ended up fighting about it endlessly until things ended in a fucking disaster. 

Ok?  You don't need Cosmo or fucking anything else to tell you what your guy wants.  He will tell you, just ask.

 

 

Here are some of the topics I brought up:

• Is "cunt" the dirtiest word?
• Do you suppose there are people who have a fetish for open sores?
• What would open sores porn look like?  I think it would it have close up pictures of women with oozing genital warts, masturbating as they rubbed their scabs.
• Do you prefer Psilocybin or Mescaline?
• Oil and vinegar salad dressing is kind of like trying to mix Vaseline and Astroglide.
• Do you think felching is worse than a Cleveland steamer?
• Sure, I'd be glad to tell you what "felching" means.
• All that stuff is fine - but sucking someone's toes?  That's disgusting.

Still, I want to provide a service to our dear readers.  So I'm going to once again ask for help from The Churning Loyalists.  Today, we're going to create a list: reasons guys look at porn.  I'll start things off.  Leave a comment with your suggestions.

1. Online porn is free (if you know where to look).
2. Guys like to sport wood.  Porn can make that happen anytime.
3. Porn chicks do some really fucked up shit and they act like they enjoy it.
4. You can find porn for any fetish.  It's much more difficult to find an actual real life girl who's into whatever sick shit you're into.
5. Women are beautiful.  Naked women are even better.  Naked women fucking are the best.

Do you know any albinos who would be willing to take off their clothes for cash? I guarantee there's a demand for that milky white goodness, and there's zero supply. We could stand to make a real chunk of change.

Can you imagine what an albino looks like naked? Are the nips white? The cooch? The tongue? The pubes? I must know.