The Churning
22Oct/0714

Is it wrong to snoop in your partner’s internet history?

Question of the Day: Is it unethical to look through your significant other's internet browser history or is it perfectly acceptable?

Related post:
Why do guys like porn?

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6Dec/0614

Why guys watch porno’s, volume III as read aloud by Patrick Stewart.

I'm going to make this as simple for everyone as possible. 

 

Guys watch porno because:

1.) We get bored.

2.) We get to see things they would not normally consider attempting with our significant other.

3.) We have dicks.

4.) Because we like looking at "nekkid womans". 

5.) And because sometimes, we just want to jerk off.  Jesus Christ.  I mean, honestly, you have no idea the needs of the goddamned gonad.  Like a zombie craving a delicious helping of brains, the fearsome Gonad hungers for a shot at your title.

Seriously, I mean what would you do if you had a raging boner and a stack full of porno starring "The woman with no gag reflex".  And the end of the day, you can't use his porno watching as a blame game for your self-esteem issues. 

That said, some women are cool as shit.   My wife for example, lets me watch all the porn I want.  She doesn't care and it doesn't bother her.  She, my best friend, gets it.  And she's not afraid of watching a good porno herself.

So my advice is to figure out how much you're willing to be comfortable with and then explain that up front to him in plain english.  And if he is willing to contend with that, then there you go.  If not, it is probably because porn is a deal breaker with him and you would have just ended up fighting about it endlessly until things ended in a fucking disaster. 

Ok?  You don't need Cosmo or fucking anything else to tell you what your guy wants.  He will tell you, just ask.

 

 

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8Sep/0623

Unacceptable Topics for Dinner Conversation

Last night, I went to a friend's house to hang out. He and his girlfriend were just sitting down to dinner when I showed up. I sat at the table with them and had a couple of beers as they ate.  Then over the next hour or so, I brought up several insanely inappropriate conversation topics. I'd like to think they were entertained. Or perhaps I'll never be invited to dinner again.

Here are some of the topics I brought up:

  • Is "cunt" the dirtiest word?
  • Do you suppose there are people who have a fetish for open sores?
  • What would open sores porn look like?  I think it would it have close up pictures of women with oozing genital warts, masturbating as they rubbed their scabs.
  • Do you prefer Psilocybin or Mescaline?
  • Oil and vinegar salad dressing is kind of like trying to mix Vaseline and Astroglide.
  • Do you think felching is worse than a Cleveland steamer?
  • Sure, I'd be glad to tell you what "felching" means.
  • All that stuff is fine - but sucking someone's toes?  That's disgusting.
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28Jul/06364

Why do Guys Like Porn?

Recently someone arrived at The Churning after searching for the phrase why does my boyfriend look at porn.  That's a silly question.   You can't ask the internet why your boyfriend looks at porn.  You gotta ask your boyfriend.  For all I know, he's got a fetish for watching women give blowjobs to albino horses.

Still, I want to provide a service to our dear readers.  So I'm going to once again ask for help from The Churning Loyalists.  Today, we're going to create a list: reasons guys look at porn.  I'll start things off.  Leave a comment with your suggestions.

  1. Online porn is free (if you know where to look).
  2. Guys like to sport wood.  Porn can make that happen anytime.
  3. Porn chicks do some really fucked up shit and they act like they enjoy it.
  4. You can find porn for any fetish.  It's much more difficult to find an actual real life girl who's into whatever sick shit you're into.
  5. Women are beautiful.  Naked women are even better.  Naked women fucking are the best.


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15May/06174

Albino Porn Doesn’t Exist

Update: Turns out albino porn really does exist. Check out some of the links in the comments section below.

Do you know any albinos who would be willing to take off their clothes for cash? I guarantee there's a demand for that milky white goodness, and there's zero supply. We could stand to make a real chunk of change.

Can you imagine what an albino looks like naked? Are the nips white? The cooch? The tongue? The pubes? I must know.


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