Sex | The Churning

11Feb/084

Did The Codes Give you a Boner?

Thanks to all of you who made it out to The Fire to see The Codes' first Philly gig in like 6 months. We took a little break to write new material and spend more time jerking off (solo - not as a group). And we rearranged our lineup: we have a new bass player, I'm playing drums now, and Rennie's on guitar. Ian's still Ian. Well sort of. Ian's hormone therapy is finally starting to kick in and his sexual reassignment surgery is scheduled for this summer. So he's still Ian at least for the next few months.

The new lineup really worked for us. The venue was packed and the booker seemed psyched. The audience was into it too - they even chanted for an encore (which we gladly delivered). I'm hoping this leads to gigs at bigger venues. We're trying to play maybe every six weeks instead of a couple times every month. That should give us time to cut an album. Fuck, maybe we'll even plan a tour.

Email us (thecodesmusic AT gmail DOT com) if you want to be included on our retarded spam email that we send every once in a while when we're not feeling lazy. And tell all your friends to add us on MySpace. I mean it. This is mandatory. Or don't. Whatever.

Tagged as: guitar, music, myspace, philly, sex, spam 4 Comments

12Jan/085

Dirty Word Scrabble

Scrabble is fucking fun as balls. But the game can be even more jizz-inducing if you add a little shit to the mix. Here's how it works: You get an extra ten points for every curse word, racial slur, or drug reference you play.

If you're playing with a pussy who wants to argue, you might need to flip a coin from time to time. Say you play the word "bang" and you want to get your ten points for your sexual reference - and your opponent says "Fuck that, you piece of shit. That's not a dirty word." You can say "Suck it, you cunty cockblock. Let's flip a coin, goddammit."

And if you've got a raging hard-on and you happen to be in a board game mood, you should try Strip Scrabble. For every 50 points you earn, your opponent has to take off a piece of clothing. Soon you'll be seeing nips, and you'll have your ballsack flapping in the breeze.

Tagged as: sex 5 Comments

25Jul/078

Little Bishop in a Turtle Neck

I have an un-cut cock.

I am no biblical follower of Abraham, and to tell you all the truth I'm proud to have an all natural Johnson. I love my foreskin for many reasons and here are my top five:

5. Accidental Zip-up Protection

4. Added characters for my penis puppetry act. (Hungry baby bird, Eiffel tower and so on) puppetryofthepenis.com

3. All of my girlfriends have been really into it. Some loved to play with it, and others have told me it feels better for them.

2. I can store food in the folds. Get a little hungry, pull it back and enjoy!

1. No lube necessary when I'm hanging out with Jack'lin (I'm talking about Jerkin it here)

I know for a fact that there are a few other rad people with retractable dick heads around here so lets hear what you all have to say.

Any neat stories about the uncut cock?

Any Horror stories?

What do the ladies have to say? Do you prefer one over the other?

uncut

Tagged as: sex 8 Comments

21Jun/0720

Gay is the New Jew

Gay is the new Jew. Not 1940's Germany. More like 1980's suburbia.

I was thinking that gay might be the new black, but I'm pretty sure black is the new black.

Anyway, it's completely culturally acceptable to make fun of homosexuals - like doing a faux-effeminate voice for comedic effect or calling a dude gay if he refuses to drink a shot of whiskey. Not so with religion or race. I don't think you'd get away with calling a guy "jewy" when he leaves a small tip at a restaurant. And you definitely can't use racial slurs in common conversation. But "gay" - no one seems to complain when that word gets thrown around.

Then again, I guess it's still okay to accuse a guy of "throwing like a girl" or being a sissy.

I don't really have a point here. Just an observation.

Tagged as: gay, religion, sex 20 Comments

4May/076

The Codes Say “2007 is the Year of the Make-Out”

It's been a while since I last mentioned my band here at The Churning. I'm trying not to be such an attention whore. Ahhh, who am I kidding? I'm the biggest attention whore of all time. So, fuck it. Here's an update:

I sent this information in an email newsletter. If you want to be added to the email list, send an email to thecodesmusic[at]gmail{dot}com with "Subscribe" in the subject line. Don't worry, we'll only send them every month or so. And remember - If you're on the distribution list, it's because we think you're sexy and we want to see you at more of our shows (and by "shows" I mean "make-out parties"). Okay, let's get on with it.

Studio Time - Drexel University
Students from Drexel's Music Production class have invited The Codes to record at MAD Dragon Studios as part of their Music Industry Program. The sessions are scheduled throughout May, and we're hoping to walk away with at least three finished tracks. After a short break for recording, we'll be back on the stage May 22 for one of our biggest shows ever:

Philadelphia, PA - Tuesday, May 22 - The Manhattan Room
This one is going to be insane. We're headlining an incredible lineup that includes three bands from Florida's Post Records. Mumpsy, Dodger, and Sean Moore are stopping in Philly on their East Coast tour. We want to fill the M Room with Codiacs to show these Florida boys what Philly's all about. Check out their magic on MySpace (linked above). These guys really are amazing.

New York, NY - Thursday, May 24 - The Knitting Factory (Old Office)
Next up, we're hitting the road with the Post Records gang. We're joining them at the legendary Knitting Factory with Brooklyn's Unicornicopia. This will be our third time taking the stage at the Knit and for some reason I get the feeling this will be another night of drunken debauchery. Plus, there's a rumor that Natalie Unicornicopia is planning a few surprises.

Philadelphia, PA - Wednesday, May 30 - Grape Street
We're closing out May at Grape Street in Manayunk with Spoons for Adam, Crashbox, and The Arrangements. We're expecting a good turnout for this one - seems like Grape Street always draws a crowd. And the sound system rocks here, so we're planning to cut a live recording at this show. Come out and cheer us on. You might hear your voice on one of the final tracks.

And we already have two weekend shows booked in June, so keep an eye out for the next update.

Later, skaters!
JJ
The Codes