One of the ways in which women are more efficient than men
When a dude goes to the bathroom at work to take a piss, he'll walk up to the urinal and let it flow. During that act, he might think to himself, "I sorta feel a shit coming on. Yep, something's brewing." He's gotta finish his piss - possibly while clenching a little to hold back the solid waste - and then he'll have to go to a stall to sit down and let loose. Not very efficient.
When women are pissing and they feel the urge to drop logs, they simply let it go right then and there. See? Efficiency.
Funniest thing I’ve heard all day
I was talking to a friend today and in all seriousness he started a sentence like this: "Back when I was the assistant coach of a girl's flag football team..."
Funniest thing I've heard all day.
What I did for Christmas.
My entire family took LSD on Christmas eve, and drank great wine all night. It was amazing! We also had a sing-a-long which I recorded. Around midnight I gave my Dad his present. It was a topographic map of the area in which he lives. It looked very stylish in his living room. We laughed and had a very silly evening. The sing-a-long sounds really funny, and I think we may have freaked the cats out.
What’s the difference between a banjo and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
I think that's oldgreensock's joke.
Anyway... I was drunkenly celebrating oldgreensock's birthday this past weekend when I met a grammy winning banjo player. In my drunken stupor, I told him that the banjo is a weak excuse for an instrument. It's a half-assed drum with strings that sounds like a cat in heat. He seemed to be taking it pretty well, when someone leaned over to me and was like "Dude, that guy plays banjo."
"Yes. I realize that. And that's why I think it's important for him to know that playing the banjo is silly."
Blogging is a Fucked Up Hobby
Blogging is so weird. When you start, you're testing the waters. You're writing for no one. You can be honest and you can be silly and stupid, because your only readers are the random strangers who happen to drop by (mostly other bloggers).
Pretty soon you're entertaining hundreds of virtual friends on a daily basis, revealing certain dirty little secrets that you might not share with your casual real-life friends.
But then you realize... If you're going to be completely honest on your website, odds are you don't want your boss/parents/friends to read it. Too bad you mentioned your blog to your closest friends and your boyfriend/girlfriend. Because maybe they happened to mention it to a mutual friend after they read something particularly funny/revealing. Soon your coworkers are reading it and your Mom stops by from time to time.
This is the point in the blog's lifespan where you have to make a decision:
Do you write about the cockjowling that took place Friday night? It would be hilarious for the hundreds of daily visitors who know how much of a fucked up freak you really are. But then again, do you want your coworkers to know what kind of person you are when it's 3:30am and you've had half a dozen wine spodiodis and twice as many Magic Hats?
Tough call.
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