Another Great Tattoo Idea
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Catch says this tattoo is "gross". That may be the case, but I'd lean more toward "so gross it's awesome". Check out the tattoo in full context here.
Milestones
Sarah asked me a bunch of questions and she wants to have them answered immediately (get it?):
How old were you when…
You had your first kiss?
14. At the time, I thought I was really old to have never kissed a girl. In retrospect, it doesn't seem so bad. But I was such a self-conscious pussy back then. I hung out with a lot of girls that year, but was too much of a wuss to make a move until I was nearly 15. I probably should have kissed other prior "girlfriends."
You lost your virginity?
I don't know if I should be answering that question. My family reads this thing. I was too young. I thought I was mature even though I knew I wasn't "in love," but I was really just a kid.
You graduated high school?
18. I think this is pretty standard.
You graduated college?
21. It was a month before my 22nd birthday. I took a lot of summer classes and tested out of a couple of pre-reqs, so I was able to graduate in 3 years.
You got your first job?
13-ish. I was a computer tutor for little kids. My mom helped me design a lesson plan to teach kids the basics (how to use a mouse, keyboard, monitor, etc.). The job was just a few weeks over the summer.
You got your first real job?
16. My dad's company hired me to pressure wash heavy equipment. I had to put on a full-body rubber apron and goggles, then hose off bulldozers and whatnot. The dirt and oil would splash back on my face and arms under the high water pressure. I walked off the job after a couple of weeks.
You lived on your own (college dorms don’t count)?
18. I never lived in the dorms. After high-school, I moved in with my buddy Joe. There are so many stories I could tell you. Maybe later when I have more time.
You met the person you married/are engaged to?
15. Yep. Momo and I have been together since high school. We broke up a couple of times during high school/college, but never for long. 15 years later we're still very much in love.
Got married?
24. That was 6 years ago. We got married in Florida (where we lived at the time), and we spent our honeymoon touring Japan and the Philippines.
Had a baby?
Not yet.
Colored your hair?
14-ish. I colored my hair constantly back then. Orange, yellow, bright red, green, blue. Dreadlocks, surfer hair, shaved bald - I even had an early Misfits Glenn Danzig devil-lock thing for a while.
Got a tattoo/piercing?
21. I've never gotten anything pierced. But I got this tattoo while on vacation in New York.
Started reading?
Shit, I don't know. Normal age I guess.
Bought your first car?
I'm not sure if this counts. My mom and dad bought me a 1981 Chevy S-10 pickup when I was 18. That's what I drove during most of my time in college. The first car I bought on my own? I was probably 21 or 22. I bought a piece of shit Dodge Neon.
Okay - that's enough of that. I'm not tagging anyone else - but feel free to share in the comments section. Or just post the answers on your site and give me the link.
Check out Cinders' responses.
Oh - and take a look at Mojotek's responses too.
Stupid Tattoo Idea
I want to get a tattoo on the upper part of my right thigh that says:

And one on the upper part of my left thigh that says:

Puff the Magic Kingdom
So Momo and I spent the weekend in Orlando with some old friends, Boggy and Baweema. Yes I know the names people use around here are starting to sound ridiculous, but those are their real nicknames. No, seriously.
The plan was to meet up in a neutral site away from family, coworkers, responsibility, etc. Then we'd get completely shitfaced. We got adjoining rooms at a Disney lodge. It's just like a huge upscale ski lodge, except there's no skiing. The place obviously caters to families visiting the theme parks, but we were just there to act retarded.
And it worked. Momo and I got there around 1am. Within a few short hours, the sun was peeking out from the horizon as we all sat around wasted in our smoke filled room with beer bottles littering the nightstands. We were all laughing like maniacs, probably ruining the family vacation for the people next door.
The next morning, we wanted to head to Downtown Disney / Pleasure Island to have a few drinks and get some food. We all got ready to leave and just as we were about to take off, the housekeepers showed up at our rooms. We let them in and told them we'd just be a couple more minutes.
I think the housekeepers were a little thrown off. In a lodge that's filled with families wearing Mickey Mouse t-shirts, they entered our mess of a room to find beer bottles, wine glasses, and people who look like this:

Boggy figured we might have an opportunity to sneak off at some point, so he grabbed something and put it in his pocket. Then he rolled up the bag of something and left it on the nightstand.
I decided to make one last stop in the pisser before heading out. As I was finishing up, one of the housekeepers opened the door and looked straight down at my crotch. I think she was impressed. She apologized and I laughed it off. Ahh who am I kidding? She probably wasn't impressed in the least. She may have even giggled a little.
Anyway, I zipped up, washed my hands, and we all got the hell out of there.
A few hours later we got back to the room. And you could probably see this coming from a mile away... The bag of something was missing.
- Did the giggling housekeeper snag it for her own personal use?
- Does Disney have a policy that instructs housekeepers to confiscate little bags of something if they happen to run across them?
- Was Boggy too groggy to be in charge of the little bag?
- Did we actually bring the bag with us and accidentally drop it somewhere else?
Any ideas?
Back from the Happiest Place on Earth
It's really strange - meeting up with old friends in the middle of clean-cut Disney to get completely wasted and stay up all night talking about sex, drugs, feces, pornography, tattoos, piercings, etc.
Anyway, I'm back and only slightly hungover. If I have time later, I'll tell you about the drug stealing housekeeper we ran into. I think she saw my cock - though that part of the story is probably unrelated to the drug stealing part of the story.
