Five Weird Habits

Why is "weird" spelled like that? I thought the rule was "i" before "e" - blah blah blah. Sorry, I couldn't bear to type the "except after c" part. I hate rhyming.

See, Diane tagged me. I'm supposed to describe five of my weird habits. For me, the problem isn't describing them; it's narrowing them down to just five.

1. Let's start with the spelling thing. I nitpick spelling and grammar anywhere and everywhere. On my recent trip to Thailand for example, I couldn't believe what I saw in a travel advertisement. I was thumbing through the Bangkok Airways brochure for Samui when I noticed they spelled the word "snorkeling" two different ways: "snorkeling" (correct) and "snorkelling" (ridiculous). It's not that it bothers me really, I just can't help noticing these things. Plus, they should probably fire their copy editor.

2. You do not want to watch a movie with me. I'm that annoying guy who always announces what other movies the actors were in.
*Whispering*
"Hey, that's the lady who plays the guy's wife on Grey's Anatomy."
"What guy's wife?"
"You know - the guy from Can't Buy me Love."
"Oh yeah."

3. I like to drop wolf bait. I normally shit twice a day. Though, that's not really a weird habit. Hell, it's not even a habit, it's just something I was thinking about recently. This weekend one of my relatives (who will remain nameless) said she shits once every three days. "Everyone's body is different," she said.
Fuck that. I do not want three day old shit in my lower intestine. With each hour that passes, that organic matter takes another step away from the food it once was toward its new life as bacteria infested filth.
Plus, how long does it take to expel three days worth of stink nuggets? I don't have the kind of time and energy it would require to drop that off in one sitting.

4. I like to watch movies and TV shows that I've already seen. Hell, I prefer them. I could watch The Simpsons psychedelic chili episode a thousand times without getting tired of it.
The same is true for radio. The Opie and Anthony show plays live at 7am on XM, then it replays throughout the day. I listen all day at work, so I often hear most of the show three times in one day.

5. I don't smile in pictures. It's not that I'm trying to look cool, it's just that I can't stand fake smiles. Someone whips out their camera, says "Hey look over here." We gather together and face the camera. The person with the camera says, "Smile" and everyone suddenly perks up with a big fake grin.
Sorry. I'm just not doing it. I'm not an actor. You gotta catch me when I'm actually smiling (or get me drunk).

I'm supposed to tag some other people - so here are a few bloggers who've added me on Myspace. I don't care if you write a post on this, but I'm going to tag you anyway. At least you're getting a link out of it:
Mojotek
Kira
CousinEddie
Sarah
Poppy