Vegetarians are weird and unhealthy and stupid

I quit eating meat 20 years ago. I was 15. I was a silly kid. I did a lot of things back then that didn't make sense. I died my hair weird colors, tried to give myself homemade tattoos, broke a tooth in half in a skateboard accident, etc. I was reckless. And as much as I was trying to be different, I focused a ton of energy on what people thought of me.

I went through a lot of phases after that. Straight edge, punk rock, grunge. I went to college, I got a job, I traveled the world. And through all of that - through all of those changes in my life - I never went back to eating meat.

Over the past 20 years, I've done a little reading on the subject of vegetarianism. Not much. But I've given it a lot of thought and I've talked to literally hundreds of people about it. This silly little thing I tried out as a kid soon became a core part of me. It defines me in some ways. So while I'm no authority on what is right or healthy, I can absolutely tell you it's worked out for me. So well in fact, that a few months ago I switched to a full vegan diet.

The reactions I get from people are all over the place. From "That's great!" to "Hmmmm..." to "What is wrong with you? Vegetarians are weird and unhealthy and stupid." And while I'll happily answer any questions anyone cares to ask, I don't react well to negativity. I get flustered. That's why I don't get into arguments over it. I stop defending myself and change the topic as soon as people get too aggressive. I just want to live my life.

But that's what the Internet's for, right? Sharing information? I thought it might be a good idea to put my thoughts together and post them here for anyone who cares. And if you don't care, then please feel free to move along.

I understand why people get worked up over the topic. We've been raised in this environment where eating meat and dairy and eggs is a part of daily life. It's part of our culture. Why would anyone stray from that normalcy? Well, here's my motivation.

1. I'm not a killer. I'm just a regular guy who wants to have a family and a job and maybe a few nice things in life. I don't want to murder things. I don't want to slice a cow's throat while it hangs upside down and screams through the gurgling flow as she bleeds to death so the meat will be nice and fresh and kosher. I don't want to catch hundreds of fish in a giant net then pull them from their native environment to the horrifying abyss of the open air where their gills struggle to gasp for oxygen as they slowly die writhing in pain.

2. I am not a baby. I don't need breastmilk. I don't want to suck on your mom's tits. I don't want to suck on a cow's tits either. Even when you put it in a jug and sell it at the store, it's still milk from a cow's tits.

3. I'm not a rapist or a kidnapper. You know how they get a cow to produce milk? They get her pregnant and steal her baby. That's the ONLY way to do it. They force a cow to have a baby and as soon as that baby is born, they steal it. And the cow cries. And the baby cries. Then they take the milk that's intended for that baby and they pour it into bottles for HUMANS. Baffling, I know.

4. I don't drink menstrual blood. Call me old fashioned, but when a woman has her period, I don't want to eat it. I also don't want to eat a chicken's menstrual fluids either. Even if you cook it in a pan with butter.

People often tell me that a vegetarian diet is unhealthy. I mean, everyone needs to eat meat to survive, right? I don't know. I'm not a nutritionist. But I've had a pretty healthy couple of decades. I eat vegetables and legumes and grains and fruit. I feel pretty damn good about it. You know what's not healthy? Murder and kidnapping and rape and torture. I can only imagine what ingesting the byproducts of all those crimes actually does to a person's body.

I welcome your thoughts on the subject. And if you want to hear more, I highly recommend this video from Gary Yourofsky. Good stuff from a guy who lives life compassionately.