God Damn! I Want to Create My Own 12 Step Program
I just found out that the original twelve-step program is based on religion. The steps include stupid shit like turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, have God remove all these defects of character, and improve our conscious contact with God. What a pile of horseshit - well at least it's horseshit for atheists like me.
So I wanted to create my own 12 step program for people who want to quit drinking or shooting up or whatever. But this shit ain't easy. I've only gotten to step five so far and now I have writer's block. Here's what I have so far:
Step one: We can have lots of fun
Step two: Theres so much we can do
Step three: It's just you and me
Step four: I can give you more
Step five: Don't you know the time has arrived
Okay, that was a long way to go for a stupid gag. Fuck it.
Also - Travis's roommate wants to know "What's weirder: gay blacks or gay Asians?"
Blogging is a Fucked Up Hobby
Blogging is so weird. When you start, you're testing the waters. You're writing for no one. You can be honest and you can be silly and stupid, because your only readers are the random strangers who happen to drop by (mostly other bloggers).
Pretty soon you're entertaining hundreds of virtual friends on a daily basis, revealing certain dirty little secrets that you might not share with your casual real-life friends.
But then you realize... If you're going to be completely honest on your website, odds are you don't want your boss/parents/friends to read it. Too bad you mentioned your blog to your closest friends and your boyfriend/girlfriend. Because maybe they happened to mention it to a mutual friend after they read something particularly funny/revealing. Soon your coworkers are reading it and your Mom stops by from time to time.
This is the point in the blog's lifespan where you have to make a decision:
Do you write about the cockjowling that took place Friday night? It would be hilarious for the hundreds of daily visitors who know how much of a fucked up freak you really are. But then again, do you want your coworkers to know what kind of person you are when it's 3:30am and you've had half a dozen wine spodiodis and twice as many Magic Hats?
Tough call.
Britney Spears has a Weird Looking Twat
This is totally not safe for work. Britney Spears flashed her vagina for the paparazzi and The Superficial has the pics (if that doesn't work, try this link). You all know I don't normally post celebrity smut, but this is Britney's shaved cooch we're talking about. Follow the link at your own risk.
The Knitting Factory Gig or Ian’s Shit Story
Thanks to everyone who made the trip to the Knitting Factory in New York to catch The Codes live. The crowd was amazing. We got a great response and the vibe was perfect.
And if you didn't see the show, you missed out on one of the strangest moments of stage banter I've ever witnessed. Halfway through the second song, I broke a guitar string. I grabbed the backup guitar and of course I broke a string on that one too. That was our only backup, so Ian and I were left to share one guitar.
Jay grabbed the backup guitar and started changing the string. That left Ian alone at the mic to entertain the audience sans music. He told the following story:
I was at class today and I was getting really tired. So I got a huge cup of coffee and guzzled it. Before I knew it, I felt a huge shit coming on.
I took off for the bathroom and sat down in the middle stall. I dropped a huge log. That sucker was no joke. I flushed to get rid of the smell, but it wasn't over yet. Before I finished, someone took a seat in the stall next to me. I looked down at his shoes and thought they were really weird. They had this odd flowery print on them. Then as I was about to get up, someone took the stall to my left. I looked down I noticed - HIGH HEELS!
I was in the women's bathroom! And the place was packed. A nearby class must have just ended. So I did the only thing I could do... I waited it out. Several minutes went by and after the final set of footsteps went silent, I made a run for it.
I escaped the bathroom without causing any trouble. But I was in there for a while and had plenty of time to think. That experience taught me one thing. When they think they're alone, women talk about the same sort of things guys talk about: sex, drugs, and partying.
The next song we played was a little rough, because we were still focusing on the guitar situation. But after that, we nailed every song. The set was tight and the audience really seemed to dig it. Check out pics from that show and from our other recent events on our pics page.
If you missed out, don't fret. We have several show dates coming up. First, we're playing Tritone in Philly on Nov 22nd. Then we have another Philly gig in December (possibly two). Check out our show dates page or The Codes MySpace page for details.



